As summer winds down, many parents with young children are familiar with the exhausting ordeal known as “Grandparent Detox.” Kids adore their grandparents, and the feeling is mutual. This affection often results in overflowing freezers filled with popsicles, marathon games of Candyland, and a treasure trove of gifts and treats just for being delightful.
While this love is heartwarming, it can be hazardous. Once kids experience the indulgence of grandparental affection, they crave more. I have a sneaking suspicion that grandparents strategize before visits, plotting ways to secure their grandchildren’s undying love. “Let’s start with ice cream for breakfast, then a three-hour session of ‘Thomas the Train,’ followed by a trip to the moon!”
You can imagine the confusion on the little ones’ faces when they return to the reality of bedtime after such an extravagant visit. “But we haven’t even roasted marshmallows yet!” they protest, staring blankly into the pantry. “Why don’t we have chocolate bars like Grandma does?” Even the thought of a bath can trigger a complete meltdown. “But I never had to take a bath at Grandpa’s house! He said the hot tub was just as good!”
When the withdrawal from grandparent-induced euphoria hits, it often leads to a lengthy, whiny, sobbing episode—thus begins the Grandparent Detox. How long will it last, you ask? It’s simple: take the number of days spent with the grandparents and multiply by two. So, if your kids had a three-day stay at Grandma’s, expect a six-day detox period.
Grandparent Detox can be tough on both kids and parents. Here are five essential steps to navigate this challenging transition:
1. Practice Patience
It’s crucial to recognize that unlearning temporary habits takes time. Approach your children with understanding and gently guide them back to their regular routines. If Grandma left the Disney Channel on for the entire visit, it might be a shock for them to go cold turkey. Allow for a four-hour screen time block upon returning home, then gradually reduce it. Use this time to tackle unpacking—because if the trip lasted four days, you’ll need a good eight days to recover.
2. Establish Boundaries
“Firm” isn’t a word that usually describes grandparents. For instance, during naptime, my 2-year-old might try to escape his crib. I calmly return him, reminding him to stay put. However, during our last visit to Grandma’s, I awoke from a refreshing nap to find my little one in complete hysterics, having missed his nap. When I asked Grandma what happened, she confessed that she couldn’t resist his pleading eyes and let him watch cartoons while enjoying three popsicles. It’s essential to reinforce the rules and routines you’ve established at home, even if it means being a bit tougher for a while.
3. Utilize Consequences
Let’s say you’ve firmly explained that spontaneous trips to the store for Lucky Charms aren’t happening. If a tantrum ensues, a consequence strategy may be necessary. It’s an uneven contest when they’re vying for the fun of grandparents. For example, Grandpa takes them to pet horses, while Mommy takes them for a doctor’s visit. The allure of treats and outings will have them resisting your authority with everything they’ve got. You might have to resort to saying, “Stop crying and get up off the floor, or you’ll never see Grandma again!”
4. Call for Reinforcements
Sometimes, it’s best to admit defeat. When all else fails, close your eyes, bow your head, and consider calling Grandma to take the kids for a few more days.
5. Rinse and Repeat
It’s a never-ending cycle. If grandparents don’t ease off on the spoiling, your kids might try to secure a permanent vacation at their house! Wait, is that what they’ve been scheming all along? Those clever little ones.
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In summary, Grandparent Detox can be a challenging phase for both kids and parents. By practicing patience, reinforcing rules, and sometimes calling for backup, you can navigate this journey more smoothly. Remember, it’s all part of the beautiful, chaotic adventure of parenting!
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