They say the first step to healing and feeling liberated is owning your truth, no matter the potential backlash you might face from society. Among my close friends and family, I’ve been somewhat candid about my unconventional lifestyle. However, in wider social circles, I’ve held back, and it’s time to be honest: I am a sober vegetarian, and I have embraced this lifestyle for over 15 years.
This journey hasn’t been without its trials. My family, friends, and even well-meaning event coordinators have faced challenges in understanding, accepting, and accommodating my choices. While I appreciate their efforts, I often feel a sense of isolation—not because I crave barbecues or drinks, but due to the struggle of revealing my sober vegetarianism to the world and managing the inevitable discomfort that follows.
As a result, I often find myself explaining my dietary choices at gatherings. It’s less than relaxing. I wander from group to group, politely declining cocktails, beers, and meat-laden hors d’oeuvres. Sometimes I wish I could just stand on a table and announce my truth, perhaps even give a heartfelt speech. Instead, I end up filling my wine glass with grape juice and feigning a lack of appetite to sidestep the awkwardness.
Of course, there are those determined strangers who, despite my clear refusals, insist on piling meat onto my plate, suggesting I merely pick off what I don’t want. My mischievous side occasionally imagines serving them a tofu dish and recommending they do the same. Yet, I usually opt for serenity, confining my vengeful thoughts to the shadows of my mind.
Devout meat-lovers aren’t the only ones trying to “save” me. I can’t even begin to recount the number of alcoholic drinks I’ve had to pour out of respect for those who use alcohol as a social lubricant or as part of festive toasts. To anyone I may have offended by discarding these drinks, I sincerely apologize.
I understand that honesty is crucial, and I realize it might seem childish to simply go along with things rather than reveal my truth. However, I’ve discovered that outright refusals only lead to a barrage of questions—an intervention where I’m lectured about my supposed iron and protein deficiencies and how I’m at risk for high blood pressure due to abstaining from red wine.
This has been my reality for the past 15 years—living in the shadow of shame that often accompanies being a sober vegetarian. The double-life I’ve led, pretending to enjoy meat and alcohol, has finally taken its toll. I’ve taken a moment for self-reflection and come to terms with the fact that my choices have inconvenienced others while leaving me frustrated with societal norms centered around meat and alcohol consumption. Therefore, it’s time to clear the air.
I owe an apology to the waitstaff in various establishments who I’ve inadvertently confused by insisting on “no meat” in my orders. I also need to let go of the resentment I’ve felt towards friends and family who suggest restaurants with limited vegetarian options. Furthermore, I must absolve myself of the guilt I’ve carried for sneaking tofu into my partner’s meals, hoping to covertly win them over to my side.
To my neighbors: I apologize for leading you to believe I was grilling chicken or beef when, in reality, I was simply marinating eggplant and veggie burgers in steak sauce. And to everyone who attended any Super Bowl party I’ve hosted, please forgive me for enjoying the sight of you indulging in non-alcoholic mixed drinks while devouring meatless wings. Lastly, to my closest friends, who may have suffered from my strong cocktails meant for a laugh, I hope you can forgive me for the hangovers and the embarrassing photos I’ve unwittingly captured.
Fifteen years is a long time to live shrouded in secrecy and shame. I recognize that the awkwardness my truth may evoke will not dissipate overnight. However, with the support of my friends and family who have patiently endured my social experiments, I can now confidently state, “My name is Linda, and I’m a sober vegetarian, and that’s perfectly OK.”
For more insights into navigating the unique challenges of vegetarianism and sobriety, check out this related blog post. Additionally, if you’re interested in fertility resources, consider visiting Cleveland Clinic’s podcast for valuable information about pregnancy and home insemination or explore Make a Mom for reputable at-home insemination kits.
Summary:
In this candid reflection, Linda Carter shares her journey as a sober vegetarian over the past 15 years. She discusses the challenges of revealing her lifestyle to friends and social circles, the misunderstandings she faces, and the awkwardness that comes with declining meat and alcohol. Ultimately, she embraces her truth and offers apologies for the unintentional inconveniences her choices may have caused to those around her.
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