When it comes to communicating with stubborn teenagers, sometimes you need to adopt a more imaginative approach. Experts suggest that while open-ended questions are helpful, a more targeted tactic might yield better results. Here’s how you can do it:
Parent: How was school today?
Teen: Boring.
Parent: What part was the most boring?
Teen: The whole day was boring.
Instead of leaving it there, let’s try a different strategy: detailed questioning about every little thing you might know about. This technique can help you unearth valuable information. Here’s a practical example:
Parent: Did you get the audition music from your teacher?
Teen: I didn’t go to class today.
Parent: Oh? What did you do instead?
Teen: I was at the Geography Bee.
Parent: Were you excused from class to go?
Teen: I was actually participating in it.
Parent: Wow! That’s a surprise! Is there anything else happening that I should know?
Teen: No.
Parent: If you get selected for any school events, could you please let me know?
Teen: I’m in the Spelling Bee next week.
Notice how the more specific you are, the more details you can uncover. And remember, don’t let your child leave the conversation until you have the information you need! A great setting for this is a car ride, where they’re buckled in and can’t escape easily.
For instance, when discussing Homecoming:
Parent: Are you planning to go to Homecoming?
Teen: I guess so.
Parent: Who are you going with?
Teen: A few friends.
Parent: Who is “a few friends”?
Teen: [Lists a few boys and girls.]
Parent: Are you going with any particular girl?
Teen: I guess.
Parent: Do you know who?
Teen: Sort of.
Parent: How do you know this?
Teen: She asked me, and I said yes.
Through persistent questioning, I learned not only about the girl’s dress color (purple) but also her favorite flower (rose) and whether my son needed to coordinate his tie (yes). It was only by directly asking if I could join them for photos that I found out I was invited! No amount of waiting quietly would have brought this information to light. Besides, we all know time is of the essence, especially when sports practice is looming.
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In summary, engaging with your teen through specific, targeted questions can help bridge the communication gap. Don’t be afraid to dig deeper to uncover the details that matter!
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