Ah, the fantasy of love and family. That blissful dream we often chase—marriage and kids. At almost 21, I thought I had it all figured out when I met Jake. He was the guy who flipped my world upside down, igniting a passion within me that made me believe I could have it all—a beautiful marriage and a family.
I was that bride who cared less about the wedding details and more about the life we were about to build together. All I wanted was to wake up next to this incredible man and enjoy our lives together. The honeymoon phase was nothing short of magical, and before long, we were daydreaming about having a child—half of me, half of him. How romantic, right?
Then reality hit. The moment I went into labor and pushed that baby out, it felt as though a love spell had been broken. Suddenly, I was thrust into what I now call “The Life Quake.” It took me weeks to adjust to the chaos of motherhood, and while we transitioned from a duo to a trio, it was a mixed bag of emotions.
On one hand, I felt completely shattered—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Meanwhile, Jake seemed to remain his usual self, continuing to sleep soundly at night and enjoy his meals. Seriously? It was infuriating. Our relationship, once so effortless, now felt like a constant battle filled with disagreements, misunderstandings, and resentment. It became hard work—really hard work.
I often found myself pouring my heart out to him, while he sat there silently wishing for it all to end. We went to bed angry sometimes, and I would cry while watching our baby sleep. I expressed my unhappiness and loneliness, questioning if it was just the hormones or the shock of our new reality. Maybe I was being selfish, but we persevered.
When our second child arrived, we thought we were seasoned pros. The excitement and fear of knowing what to expect this time around was overwhelming. We corrected many of our past mistakes, especially in how we approached our relationship. But it was still incredibly challenging. With breastfeeding, diaper changes, and endless crying, I was convinced my libido was gone for good. The dream didn’t feel like a dream anymore; it often felt more like a nightmare.
Yet, amid the chaos, I would catch glimpses of the charismatic man I fell for all those years ago, and those moments kept me hopeful. I just wished he was still able to see the woman he fell in love with instead of just a growing body. As the fog of new parenthood began to lift, we made a conscious decision to stop expanding our family. It was a relief to reclaim our choices and focus on each other and raising our kids.
We began to seek help—not because we were desperate, but because we wanted to prioritize our marriage. We took small trips, enjoyed date nights, and even had some quiet time at home. Miraculously, I found my libido again; it was alive and kicking!
Yet, parenting remains a challenge. My toddler currently relies solely on me, which can be draining. Meanwhile, navigating the wit and stubbornness of my 7-year-old is enough to make anyone’s head spin. Don’t get me wrong, though; we cherish these moments. We are blessed with healthy, happy kids and a partner who always has your back.
Despite the struggles, we are committed to making it work. We know things will continue to improve, and we’ll keep surprising each other. No matter how tough life gets, we are still living our dream, although it has evolved over time. It’s our dream.
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In summary, while the journey of marriage and parenthood is undeniably challenging, it’s also incredibly rewarding. We’re learning to navigate the complexities, and despite the difficulties, we’re committed to our love and family.
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