Dear Little One,
As I sit here at 28-and-a-half weeks pregnant, I’m struck by how quickly time has passed. I can feel your strength growing within me, and as I write this, you’re giving me a little kick. It’s hard to believe I’m nearing the end of this journey, which has been relatively smooth so far. I’ve avoided morning sickness, experienced few physical discomforts, and in my opinion, I haven’t been overly moody! Strangely enough, it’s only in recent weeks that strangers have started to notice my pregnancy. Even though my friends can see my growing belly, I recognize that many women have faced far more challenging experiences.
Here’s the truth, though: despite carrying you for this long, I don’t feel a deep bond with you yet. I love you, but that love feels more akin to the compassion I feel for someone I see struggling on the street than the profound connection I’ve expected. The reality is, you are not a stranger to me—I can predict your movements. You kick the heart monitor and instinctively push away from it. I know you’ll be most active around 11 p.m. and right when I lay on my side. I even anticipate those mornings when it feels like you’re churning my insides!
And yet, despite this familiarity, I still feel like I don’t truly know you. You are my child, but you have yet to fully embody that relationship for me. I realize that all of this will change the moment I see your face and hear your cries. I have no doubt that our bond will blossom then. When I imagine what you will look like, I feel an emotional wave that’s reserved for those I cherish most. But as of now, you seem more like a passenger in my day-to-day life (and I apologize for the stressful moments you’ve had to endure!).
I am filled with fear when I think of losing you. The thought of “What if something happens to the baby?” is the most terrifying question I’ve ever faced. Upon reflection, I understand that my greatest fear is not having the chance to know you. That’s why I’m confident this feeling of disconnect will end with your birth.
So why am I writing to you to express this lack of bond? Because, dear one, it’s a truth that many women face but few discuss. In today’s world of social media, everyone shares their joyful pregnancy moments. They also talk about the challenges, but seldom do they mention the struggle of feeling disconnected from their unborn child. As I scroll through my feeds, I can’t help but wonder: “Is there something wrong with me?” “Why don’t I feel the same depth of love as other mothers?” “Am I supposed to feel an instant connection at the first ultrasound? What if I don’t?”
I might appear to be the last person who would admit to not feeling bonded, but here I am. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I want to reassure you that it’s perfectly normal. This feeling is temporary; it doesn’t define your worth as a mother.
I eagerly await the moment when I finally feel that true bond with you.
With love,
Mommy
For more insights on navigating pregnancy and emotional connections, check out this post on Cervical Insemination. If you’re considering at-home insemination, Cryobaby’s home insemination syringe kit is a reputable option. For further information on success rates, WebMD offers excellent resources.
Summary
Carrying a child can evoke a complex mix of emotions. Despite being 28 weeks pregnant, the author expresses feelings of disconnection from her unborn baby, recognizing the fear and societal pressures surrounding motherhood. She reassures expectant mothers that these feelings are normal and often temporary. The article encourages open discussions about the realities of pregnancy beyond the typical joys shared on social media.
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