A few weeks back, I received a text from my sister, who welcomed her third child in February. It read, “Please tell me you have days when you just can’t cope. When the only thing you can think of is walking out the door just to survive. I need to hear this from someone else.” I chuckled, knowing she was completely earnest. In my mind, I had a flood of responses like “every single day,” “just this morning,” and “on a minute-by-minute basis.”
Let’s face it—parenting is tough. It’s the most challenging endeavor I’ve ever faced, even more than running six miles in sweltering humidity or commuting an hour to work. I used to train for marathons, pushing a double stroller with a 4-year-old and a 3-year-old in tow, all while managing a job for a narcissistic boss. Yet, as it turns out, parenting remains the most difficult thing I’ve ever attempted.
There are countless moments in my day when I feel like giving up and escaping to a quiet place where my husband and I used to enjoy life before kids—a life that didn’t involve a panic attack every time one of them ventured too close to the edge of the sidewalk.
Take last week, for instance. I was moving a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer, a task that should take no more than two minutes. When I returned, one of the twins had come back inside, and the entire house reeked of gasoline. “Why does it smell like gasoline?” I asked, looking around. The guilty twin looked at me, and I could see the mischief written all over his face.
His brother soon followed, smelling like a gas station. I glanced outside and saw their father’s gas can, typically stored behind a locked door, sitting on a deck chair. Somehow, these little rascals had managed to pry it open and pour gasoline everywhere—including on themselves. Thankfully, no one in our house smokes, or we might have had a real disaster on our hands.
I ended up giving both of them an impromptu bath (which definitely wasn’t in the morning’s plans) while the baby wailed downstairs in his jumper seat, upset about being left alone. My husband took care of cleaning the deck, worried that the Texas sun would ignite the gasoline-soaked grass. That morning was one of those days when I just wanted to throw in the towel; it felt impossible to stay one step ahead.
I used to feel guilty for having moments like this. I’d tell myself off for wishing they weren’t twins or for wishing they weren’t so curious and wild. However, I’ve learned something vital through my parenting journey: just because we have fleeting moments where we want to give up, it doesn’t mean we love our kids any less.
These little humans can be both the best and worst parts of my day. There are moments I want to color with them, enjoying their laughter, and then there are times I think about putting them up for adoption on Craigslist (of course, I’d have to embellish the listing to make them sound appealing).
There are hours when I reminisce about the early days when they were in the NICU, and then there are moments that seem like a lifetime ago when they decide to explore the depths of the toilet.
Parenting is not for the faint-hearted. It’s the hardest responsibility we will ever take on, and during our journey, we will often feel overwhelmed and ready to give up. But that’s part of the experience.
So, I quickly replied to my dear sister, “Yes, it happens almost every day. It doesn’t make you a bad mom.” Because it truly doesn’t. Those moments of wanting to give up actually strengthen us as parents and deepen our understanding of love.
And just when I thought I had seen it all, my toddler discovered a can of paint my husband carelessly left out, resulting in a colorful masterpiece on the pantry wall. By the time this parenting chapter is over, I’m going to be an exceptional person, that’s for sure.
If you’re looking for more insight into the ups and downs of parenting, consider checking out this insightful blog post here. And if you’re on your own fertility journey, make sure to explore reputable retailers like Make A Mom for at-home insemination kits. For additional information, the CDC offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Parenting is an incredibly challenging journey that often leads to moments of frustration and the urge to give up. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are normal and do not reflect our love for our children. Embracing both the highs and lows ultimately makes us stronger, more compassionate parents.
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