A True Friend Is Someone You Can ‘Errand-Hang’ With

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When I was in college, my friend Sarah needed a new mattress. She asked me to join her for some company, and I jokingly said, “Friends don’t let friends shop for mattresses alone.” We grabbed some drinks, chatted on our way, weighed the pros and cons of different mattresses, and returned home feeling accomplished. I always thought this was just a normal thing—when you have a task to tackle, you call a friend. Apparently, this is called an “errand hang” overseas.

Maybe I’m just unique or perhaps a bit unconventional. So are many of the moms I know.

I used to errand hang frequently—at least before the pandemic hit and all three of my closest mom friends moved away in the same year. Even now, amidst the chaos of post-COVID life, I still manage to find time for these outings. The errand hang tradition is very much alive! How else do people find time to catch up? Our lives are busy. Who has the luxury to plan elaborate outings filled with wine and small talk? I can barely manage that with my husband. My free time is usually taken up by chores or errands, but I’d rather not tackle them alone. So, I reach out to a friend. Need to pick up some crystals and candles? I have a friend for that. He probably needs some too, and even if he doesn’t, he’ll appreciate the ride, a sweet tea, and some good conversation while we shop.

Moms Errand Hang All The Time

What I miss most about having mom friends is the errand hangs. With kids to wrangle and tasks to complete, it was easy for us to team up. “Hey, do you need to go to Target? Because I do!” We’d meet in the parking lot with our lists.

“Okay, you need makeup, fruit, and a shower curtain, while I need makeup, contact lens solution, washcloths, and a bathmat. Plus, I’m on the hunt for a new bra and some books. Remember that time I found that amazing hardback notebook for three bucks?”

My friends would tease me about that notebook, and we’d laugh, load our kids into carts, and keep each other focused while navigating the store. We managed to stick to our lists, thanks to our teamwork. That’s the essence of an errand hang.

I’d help her choose her new shower curtain, and she’d assist me with my bra selection. These small moments reflect our lives, allowing us to stay connected. Later, I’d visit her home and compliment her new shower curtain or whisper, “I’m wearing that bra you recommended, and you were right about skipping the underwire.”

Post-COVID Errand Hangs

My buddy Alex and I still enjoy errand hangs. He’s a busy lawyer, and I’m a writer on the go. One Sunday, he picked me up to run some political errands: visiting people, putting up yard signs, and driving through neighborhoods. Alone, it would have been dull, but with our playlist and conversation, it became a fun afternoon.

We had another errand hang recently when he bought a washer. Before you jump to conclusions, he didn’t need my help. Alex is perfectly capable of selecting a washer; he merely wanted company while he navigated the purchase process. So, I joined him, leaning against appliances and sharing laughs about our college days, making the experience enjoyable.

That’s what an errand hang is all about. Most people do this—particularly moms. When do we get to see our friends otherwise? Our schedules are packed, so we ask a friend to tag along, turning errands into social outings, complete with coffee stops.

As Cindy Wang Brandt points out, in Mandarin, the errand hang is called “陪, ‘pei,’ to accompany someone for frivolous reasons.” I love that concept. Sometimes we combine our tasks, but other times we just ride along because it’s convenient. I’ve had friends join me for dress shopping, picking paint, or buying gifts for people they don’t even know. It’s a chance to chat, hang out, and share moments of our lives.

We need more errand hangs in our lives. If someone raises an eyebrow when you suggest it, they’re the odd ones. Who wouldn’t want to stand around with a drink, debating mattresses, washers, or gifts for strangers?

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In summary, errand hanging is a valuable way to maintain friendships despite busy lives. Whether it’s shopping for essentials or just enjoying each other’s company, these outings can turn mundane tasks into memorable moments.

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