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Hi there! I’m a mother living with ADHD, and I don’t fit the typical image often associated with this condition—a hyperactive boy bouncing off the walls, unable to focus. Instead, I often feel completely drained by everything around me. My mind leaps from one thought to another, making it difficult to concentrate on any single task. This mental chaos leads to sensory overload as I try to manage the noise, clutter, and constant demands from my children.
From a young age, I struggled with focus. I can recall zoning out for hours while attempting to complete my homework, rereading the same sentences without grasping their meaning. This constant struggle made me feel inferior compared to my peers, many of whom seemed to excel academically.
Daily Life
Procrastination is my constant companion, turning my evenings into frantic attempts to check off even a fraction of my to-do list. Even on days when I feel more focused, accomplishing just one or two simple tasks can feel like a victory. This lack of focus also hampers my ability to engage with my kids fully. My brain craves constant stimulation, and playing the same pretend game repeatedly can feel mind-numbing. Additionally, when I do hyper-focus on something, it becomes incredibly challenging to break away.
I can’t count how many times my children have had to entertain themselves while I find myself lost in a rabbit hole of internet searches about topics like using rabbit droppings as fertilizer, which spirals into how to care for rabbits—despite not owning any!
We often have the television on in the background, but that background noise frequently turns into my kids watching a show while I scroll through social media or chat with friends.
Frustrations
Caffeine doesn’t have the energizing effect on me that many people experience. While I enjoy the taste, it does little to help with my energy as a mom. I frequently misplace my phone at home, which has led to a habit of checking for it obsessively when I’m out.
In social situations, I struggle to determine when it’s my turn to speak. I often think it’s my moment to contribute, but then someone else jumps in. And when it finally is my turn, my mind goes blank.
The most challenging aspect of ADHD for me is managing overstimulation. I often feel that I should excel at multitasking, yet I’m overwhelmed when multiple things demand my attention. It feels like I need to entertain my children to manage household tasks, as I can’t focus on cooking dinner while also answering my toddler’s questions. There have been times when I’ve completely forgotten about dinner because I got sidetracked.
Mental Health
For much of my life, I grappled with feelings of inadequacy, comparing myself to others and their successes. Logically, I understand that ADHD impacts my ability to concentrate, yet I often find myself wondering why I can’t just “try harder” to be more like everyone else. Why can’t I focus on writing a blog post? Why can’t I be fully present with my family? Why does multitasking feel impossible? Why does my interest in hobbies fade after I hyper-focus on them?
I work diligently to remind myself that I am a good mom, friend, and partner, but self-doubt occasionally creeps in. Spending time with my close friends is crucial for my mental well-being; they provide a space where I can be my authentic self, reminding me that quirks are part of who I am.
Fears
Every parent worries about whether they’re doing right by their children, and I am no different. While I’m not overly concerned about my kids potentially having ADHD, I do worry that my own struggles will impact my parenting and that they may face the same challenges I have. I fear they might feel like failures and that it will be my fault.
Finding a balance between being a functional mom and allowing my children to see my struggles is tough. It’s essential for kids to witness their parents overcoming challenges, but my struggles are relentless. While my little ones may not notice now, I know they will as they grow older, and I don’t want them to think their difficulties stem from me.
Notes for Moms with ADHD
You’re doing an amazing job, and you deserve all the grace possible. You don’t need to do it all to be considered a supermom; your daily battles with ADHD make you extraordinary in your own right. Seeking help, whether through a babysitter or a therapist, is not a weakness but a sign of strength. Finally, remember to be kind to yourself; you deserve it.
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Summary
Being a mom with ADHD presents unique challenges in daily life, from procrastination to difficulties with focus, overstimulation, and feelings of inadequacy. Despite these struggles, it’s essential to recognize the strength in seeking help, being kind to oneself, and understanding that being a supermom comes from navigating these challenges with grace.
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