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During a recent visit to my parents’ house, I overheard my eight-year-old daughter, Mia, defending herself to her grandmother. All four cousins were busy constructing cardboard box boats to race down the river, but Grandma had limited the use of box cutters to the older kids, suggesting the younger ones stick to using paper and tape.
“I’m allowed to use box cutters!” Mia asserted, visibly upset.
“Are you sure?” Grandma replied, sounding doubtful.
“Yes, I am!”
My mom turned to me, “Is she?”
“Yes,” I confirmed. “She’s quite skilled with them.”
My mother raised her eyebrows, giving me a look that implied I might be a reckless or negligent parent. I promise I’m not. The truth is, Mia is adept at using box cutters. I’ve hosted at least two birthday parties themed around building cardboard box forts, and both she and her younger brother, Max, frequently engage in creative box projects. One of their favorite activities is transforming recyclable materials into imaginative crafts.
“Max can use them, too,” Mia chimed in. Max is six, and he once made a “pizza box dinosaur” by following a tutorial online, showcasing his ability to handle tools as well.
Despite my mother’s skepticism, she relayed the news to the other kids that they could all use box cutters, albeit still looking a bit concerned about potential injuries that might occur as a result.
Fortunately, no one got hurt, and the cardboard boat races were a resounding success.
I may come off as a permissive parent regarding the independence I grant my children, but my approach is intentional. I prefer to view it as a Discovery method of teaching them essential skills. I’ve demonstrated safe blade usage but allow them the freedom to decide how to utilize that knowledge. If crows can use tools, so can my kids! They often surprise me with their creativity. While I want them to be safe, I also don’t believe in being overly protective.
When Mia first expressed her desire to use box cutters, I weighed the risks involved. Yes, allowing her access to box cutters could lead to minor cuts. However, denying her the opportunity to learn how to use them safely would be a far greater detriment. The likelihood of severe injury is quite low, but the absence of any risk is unrealistic and undesirable. Kids need to climb trees and jump off diving boards, just as they need to learn to use tools and the stove, to develop essential life skills.
Mia has been using real scissors since she was two and box cutters since she turned six. Yes, she has had her share of minor cuts, and when that happens, she simply finds a band-aid and continues with her crafting. Until recently, Max required assistance, as he’s more reckless, but he too is learning about safety.
Both of my children have experience with hammers, saws, knives, hot glue, and cooking on the stove. They ride bikes and ski, engaging in typical childhood activities. It’s crucial to strike a balance between protecting them from potential harm and allowing them to experience life’s challenges. While it may hurt at times, these experiences teach them valuable lessons about risk and safety.
For instance, Mia once had a tumble while biking downhill. She cried, spat out some dirt, rinsed her mouth, and got back on her bike. Max fell out of a tree trying to swing like a monkey but quickly recovered and climbed back up.
My goal is for my children to learn how to assess risks and respond appropriately. I can’t shield them from every danger, but I can equip them with the skills they need to navigate life safely. As I write, they are in the playroom using a hot glue gun to create snow globes from jam jars. And yes, they understand to unplug it afterward. Just this morning, they sliced their own bread and scrambled eggs for breakfast.
Every activity carries its own risks, but when those risks are managed wisely, the positive outcomes can be significant. I refuse to bubble-wrap my kids; they can get their own band-aids.
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In summary, I believe in allowing my children to explore and learn through hands-on experiences, even when that involves a degree of risk. It’s about striking a balance between safety and independence.