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Most people struggle to grasp the complexities of parenting a child with special needs, and here’s why.
We often don’t share the full truth—not because we don’t trust you, but because we doubt you’ll truly understand. When we say, “I’m tired,” it actually means we’re utterly depleted. We’re experiencing a type of exhaustion that words can’t capture. The concept of self-care seems almost laughable; while we recognize its importance, for us, it can take days to unwind and breathe freely again.
Our children are our greatest treasures. We love them fiercely because we constantly fight for their needs: their accommodations, medications, appointments, equity, and basic rights. We may open up about our advocacy, as many parents can relate to wanting the best for their kids. However, the struggles we face at home—while others are enjoying summer days riding bikes and savoring popsicles—often go unsaid. These moments can be chaotic, messy, and even frightening, and we often keep them to ourselves because so few truly understand.
It’s rare to find someone who is always “on,” fully aware that even a moment of relaxation could lead to danger for their child. Perhaps our child has mobility challenges, putting them at risk of falls, or they may have impulsive behaviors that lead to broken things. Maybe they struggle with emotional regulation, which can lead to self-harm or harm to others. Regardless of the specifics, we never fully relax.
When our kids aren’t with us, we’re often paralyzed by the anxiety of what might happen next. Friends, this is an exhausting reality that we don’t always share because we don’t expect you to understand. Yet, even if you can’t fully relate, you can still show kindness. You can lend a listening ear (without judgment), sit with our kids so we can take a much-needed break, or simply send a supportive text.
This journey wasn’t what we envisioned, nor is it something we’d wish on anyone else. But despite the challenges, we wouldn’t trade it for anything. As tough as it can be, our children need us more than anything. Even when they express anger or frustration, deep down they still need our presence. It’s a relentless cycle of love and fatigue, yet it’s ours to navigate together.
For more insights, check out this post on home insemination. If you’re interested in resources related to this topic, visit Make A Mom for essential kits and CDC’s pregnancy page for guidance.
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Summary:
Understanding the complexities of parenting a child with special needs is challenging for many. Parents often feel a deep exhaustion that is difficult to articulate and experience constant worry for their child’s safety. While they fight fiercely for their children’s rights and needs, they don’t always share the struggles they face at home. Despite the difficulties, the love for their children remains unwavering, making the journey uniquely theirs.