Women often desire to appear younger, and it’s a well-known fact that in our society, asking a woman her age is a big no-no. Now that I’ve hit my thirties, our birthday celebrations may still involve nights out at the club, but there’s an undercurrent of “we’re partying to mask the tears.” You feel me?
Yes, I do have a youthful appearance. I can say this with certainty since I get carded for kombucha purchases, and I’ve been mistaken for a middle school student more times than I can count at my job.
With comments like, “Oh! I thought you were still in school!” or “Are you the babysitter?” I’ve taken to introducing myself with, “Hi, I’m Mia. I may look younger than my age, so let’s just get that out of the way.”
I was 26 when my son was born, which isn’t exactly teenage parenting, but still quite young by today’s standards. In Park Slope, Brooklyn, a 30-year-old mom might as well be a pre-teen in a tutu.
And while I do appreciate my youthful looks, I often wish people wouldn’t treat me like I’m still a kid. Because, frankly, being a mother is the most significant job I could have, and I don’t want to be disrespected in front of my child.
Take, for instance, the day I was twenty minutes late dropping my son off at school. A teacher I barely knew got uncomfortably close and said, “You will not be late again.” She spoke slowly, as if I were a toddler who needed the words spelled out for me.
Her tactic definitely worked. I stammered out an awkward “I-I-I will try my very best,” feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. The assistant teacher nearby seemed just as uncomfortable, trying to stifle her laughter while backing away.
The teacher then reiterated, “No, you will NOT try. You WILL NOT be late again.” I was so flustered, I could barely respond, but I managed to say, “You don’t have to do that.” I walked away and cried as soon as I turned the corner.
Did I mention I live in Park Slope? If you know this area, you’ll understand that the preschools are as pricey as my rent. Isn’t the point of paying a premium for services to be treated well? After all, when you dine at a fancy restaurant, you expect top-notch service, right?
This experience made me wonder: Would she have yelled at me like that if I were 41, like most of the affluent parents around here? If I didn’t resemble a cast member from MTV’s “Teen Mom,” would she have spoken to me like I was an adult?
It’s hard to say, especially since I’ve seen other parents come in late with hardly a second glance.
I have plenty of similar stories, like the time an ER nurse lectured me for an hour on why my child must always be in a car seat while I nodded along, fully aware of the rules. Nothing is worse than being treated like you’re clueless, especially when you’re there because your child had an accident.
So, if you look your age, embrace it! Don’t let a wrinkle bring you down. Aging has its perks, like fewer people questioning your decisions. They’re more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt, instead of treating you like a total novice.
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In summary, while looking younger may seem appealing, it often comes with the downside of being treated like a child. Embrace your age, and remember that being a mother is one of the most significant roles you’ll ever have.
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