Not long ago, my in-laws took our toddler for a night, giving my partner and me a chance to celebrate our anniversary. The following day, we headed over to my parents’ place to say goodbye to my two younger siblings—one embarking on law school in Oregon and the other off to spend a year in Australia. We capped off the weekend with a lively family gathering at my in-laws. It was a whirlwind couple of days.
You’d think that a worn-out 2-year-old would drift off to sleep easily after such an exhausting weekend. But as any parent knows, fatigue doesn’t always lead to restful slumber. Instead of peacefully settling into dreamland, our little one was buzzing with toddler energy. By the time he finally surrendered to sleep, my partner and I were too tired ourselves, naively anticipating a later wake-up call the next morning. Spoiler alert: we were terribly wrong.
Stage 1: Denial
You’re in a deep, restful sleep when a soft cry disrupts your peace, pulling you out of your dreams. Confused and blinded by the darkness, you wonder, is that really him? What time is it? Surely he can’t be awake. You shut your eyes tightly, hoping the sounds from his room will fade away. It must be just a bad dream. If you stay quiet, maybe he’ll settle down. But the cries only grow louder, and soon he’s calling out for you. Your partner stirs, “Is that him?” You resist the urge to respond, hoping your partner will take charge and you can sneak back into your dreams. You bury your face in the pillow, amused that you chose well in your partner.
Stage 2: Anger
As you snuggle under the covers, trying to drift back off, the entire exchange between father and son reaches your ears. “What’s wrong?” “Mommy!” “Do you want me to sing to you?” “No, Mommy!” Your frustration bubbles over. All day, this little guy wanted his dad, but now that you’re desperate for sleep, he suddenly wants you! Ugh! Your partner walks in, “He wants you.” You let your irritation show, flinging the blanket off with a dramatic sigh, “Ugh!”
Stage 3: Bargaining
You stumble into your toddler’s room, finding him standing in his crib, at least he’s contained—he’ll stay in this crib until he’s in high school! He points at the chair next to him, demanding, “song!” And so begins the negotiations. “Okay, just one song, then it’s back to sleep.” You croak out the ABCs, wondering what about your raspy, midnight voice is so delightful to him. After you finish, you attempt to leave, but “Water!” halts you. “Alright, a little water, but then it’s back to sleep.” And so it goes, a cycle of more drinks, more cuddles, more songs.
Stage 4: Depression
You slump into the chair beside his crib, feeling hopeless. I will never sleep again. I’m destined to spend hours in this room pleading with a tiny human to just close his eyes. Tears well up as you look at your little one, who has seemingly lost his mind, jumping and laughing. He has no cares, and you mourn the precious night hours you’ll never reclaim. You blink the tears away, counting them silently.
Stage 5: Acceptance
Wiping your eyes, you pick your toddler up from his crib. He rests his sweet little head on your shoulder as you shuffle back to your room. You settle him on the bed, stating, “You can sleep with us for the rest of the night, but you must sleep nicely.” You chuckle to yourself, wondering, what does ‘sleep nicely’ even mean? As you snuggle next to your adorable toddler, you think, well, for tonight, this isn’t so bad. However, it’s not until a tiny foot unexpectedly connects with your face around 4:30 a.m. that you remember what you meant by “sleep nicely.”
In the realm of parenting, sleepless nights are all too common, but embracing the chaos can sometimes make for the best memories.
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Summary
Caring for a restless toddler can lead parents through a rollercoaster of emotions—from denial to acceptance. Navigating sleepless nights can be challenging, but finding humor amidst the chaos can help create cherished memories.
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