“Just don’t be one of those mothers who leaves her kids with a babysitter to enjoy some personal time or hit the gym.” These were the last words shared by a potential caregiver for my two little ones. An experienced woman with a spotless home that smelled of fresh baked cookies, she seemed perfect at first. But then, she offered her unsolicited advice.
Like many new parents, I was bombarded with advice, opinions, and judgments the moment I shared my pregnancy news. I often responded with a polite smile and a nod, but I refuse to feel guilty about my commitment to carving out time for myself.
I’m the mom who enrolls my toddler in part-time daycare just so I can spend quiet moments with the baby. Sure, I could say it’s beneficial for his growth (and it is), but honestly, I just need a breather.
I’m the mom who drops the kids off at Grandma’s so I can catch a concert. And let’s be real; sometimes I attend shows featuring artists I’ve never heard of, simply for the chance to escape the house alone.
I’m the mom who sneaks away on Saturday afternoons for coffee with friends. Often, coffee turns into lunch, and our chats extend well into the evening. While I could point out that the kids are bonding with their dad, the truth is, I relish the opportunity to enjoy a meal and conversation with other adults.
I’m the mom who leaves the kids with neighbors to run errands. And by “errands,” I mean treating myself to a massage and an eyebrow wax. I know the baby might be crying and the toddler could be throwing a tantrum, but these shoulders need some TLC.
I’m the mom who makes reservations at an upscale restaurant for a date night with my husband, knowing the kids are munching on junk food and watching movies with a teen babysitter. I could pretend to care about their late bedtimes, but honestly, it doesn’t bother me at all.
So, to that babysitter who warned me against being “one of those mothers”—it’s too late; I already am. I leave my kids with someone else to enjoy a run after work or to linger and chat with my colleagues. Making time for myself is intentional, because if I don’t, who will?
These moments away from my children allow me to breathe. They remind me that while I’m connected to my kids, we are also individuals who need space to grow and nurture our independence. It’s a reminder that my needs matter too, and I won’t apologize for prioritizing myself in my own life.
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Summary
In motherhood, finding time for oneself is not just valuable—it’s essential. Embracing personal time can enhance our well-being and strengthen our relationships with our children. We must remember that self-care is a priority, and there’s no need to apologize for it.
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