5 Reasons Why COVID Was an Ideal Time for Divorce

As I embarked on the eye-opening journey of becoming a certified coach specializing in healing after divorce, I realized that the intense training was essential for mastering the art of effective coaching. It requires practice, knowledge, and the ability to ask empowering questions that can lead clients to new perspectives on their challenges. To truly excel in coaching, one must also embody and believe in these principles. Thankfully, my life has been a tapestry of dysfunction and enlightening experiences. With a natural curiosity and a penchant for overanalyzing, I find myself quite “coachable.” So, what better topic to explore than my own divorce during the pandemic?

The timing of my divorce aligned almost eerily with the onset of COVID-19. As I confronted the reality that my marriage had reached its breaking point, the world was also grappling with the chaos of a global health crisis. I faced the challenges of moving out of my marital home while managing three kids doing remote learning, all during a peak in COVID cases. As vaccines rolled out and hope emerged, I began to experience remarkable personal growth amidst the chaos of both the pandemic and my divorce. The two intertwined themes of my life became a source of unexpected synergy.

As I navigated this turbulent period, I noticed a recurring theme in the well-meaning comments from friends and family: “How are you handling this on top of everything else?” Initially, I soaked in their sympathy and embraced my role as a victim. However, with a coaching mindset, I later asked myself a more empowering question: “What advantages did I gain from getting divorced during COVID?” Here are five compelling reasons…

1. A Virtual World

With legal proceedings requiring my attention, my schedule resembled that of a busy executive. I often had to drop everything, including my children, for a sudden opening in a judge’s calendar. My saving grace? The magic of logging onto Zoom. This once obscure platform became my gateway to the outside world. Unlike those who faced the hassle of in-person meetings in the past, I was able to manage my legal affairs from the comfort of home — a welcome change from the stress of traffic and parking.

2. Lack of Social Pressure

My children attend a lovely Catholic school known for its warm community. Typically, I would have engaged with fellow parents, but COVID halted all social gatherings. During this time, I could avoid the pitying glances and awkward conversations about my divorce. By the time activities resumed, I felt stronger and ready to step back into the world.

3. Self-Discovery

I embraced the quiet weekends when my daughters were with their father. Instead of seeking nightlife to celebrate my newfound freedom, I invested time in personal development—studying and writing. Working with incredible coaches, I uncovered limiting beliefs and gained clarity about the kind of life and relationships I desire. This transformative time boosted my confidence, especially when my daughters spoke about their father’s new girlfriend.

4. Limited Contact

One of the best strategies during recovery from heartbreak is to minimize contact with the ex. Ironically, the pandemic imposed this very limitation. My mask became a metaphorical barrier during child handoffs, preventing any regrettable outbursts. It’s true that divorce can bring out the worst in anyone, but having that physical barrier helped maintain my dignity.

5. Financial Management

Divorce can be financially devastating, especially when it comes to raising three daughters. The pandemic offered a silver lining by limiting our spending options. When my kids asked for outings, I could gently decline with the excuse of COVID restrictions. This unexpected slowdown in expenses allowed me to reevaluate my finances and teach my kids the value of delayed gratification.

In summary, there are five substantial reasons why navigating a divorce during COVID might actually be a blessing in disguise. Reflecting on this period, I feel a sense of gratitude. The next time someone asks, “How did you cope with a divorce during such chaotic times?” I’m ready with my answer: “I wouldn’t have had it any other way!”

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In conclusion, while the pandemic posed numerous challenges, it also provided unique opportunities for growth and transformation, especially for those navigating the complexities of divorce.