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Like many in my generation, I experienced spanking during my childhood. While it wasn’t frequent or severe, my parents would always follow up with a calm discussion about the behavior that led to the spanking. It seemed that most families I knew operated similarly, and I had friends who faced harsher punishments that bordered on abuse. Consequently, I viewed my parents’ approach as a reasonable form of discipline, believing that spanking sometimes was necessary to “get through” to a child.
During my pregnancy and when my now-15-year-old daughter was an infant, I came across parenting literature promoting non-violent methods of discipline. However, I was so entrenched in the belief that spanking was essential that I dismissed this advice. I speculated that experts were merely cautious about recommending physical discipline due to the risk of some parents misinterpreting “disciplinary spanking” for “abuse.”
Recent research, however, indicates that from the perspective of a child’s developing brain, disciplinary spankings and serious abuse have minimal differences. Dr. Mia Chen, a licensed psychologist and school psychologist, recently shared insights with Buzzfeed about a significant study conducted by Harvard on spanking.
“Spanking alters how a child’s brain develops from an early age,” Dr. Chen explained to Krista Torres from Buzzfeed. “It leads to brain patterns similar to those seen in children who have faced severe abuse.”
The Harvard study examined children aged 10 to 11, comparing those who had been spanked—ranging from occasional to frequent—with those who had never experienced spanking. Although the study excluded children who had suffered more severe abuse, researchers had access to other data for comparative analysis. Children were placed in an MRI machine and shown images of actors displaying “fearful” and “neutral” expressions. The brain activity of each child was recorded.
Upon analysis, researchers found that all children exhibited increased brain activation when viewing fearful faces compared to neutral ones, which was expected. However, the spanked children showed a heightened response to fearful faces and a diminished response to neutral ones. Dr. Chen noted a particularly alarming finding: “When comparing the brain activity of spanked children to existing data from abused children, there were not many differences in prefrontal cortex activation.”
This means that even sporadic spanking can trigger brain reactions akin to those observed in children who have experienced abuse.
As my daughter transitioned from toddlerhood and began displaying signs of ADHD, I started to question the efficacy of spanking. It became increasingly clear that her behavior was not a result of defiance or poor choices; it stemmed from issues with impulse control—something beyond her immediate control. How could I justify punishing her for something she couldn’t help?
I rarely spanked her, and when I did, it was mild and modeled after my parents’ approach. But I began to wonder: was this truly effective in shaping her into the person I hoped she’d become? Eventually, I ceased spanking altogether and explored alternative discipline methods: time-outs (which can also have detrimental effects if they induce shame), token economies, therapy, meditation, medication, and extensive conversations.
Dr. Chen elaborated on the well-documented negative consequences of using spanking as a primary discipline method. “Spanking has numerous adverse effects on children,” she asserted in her Buzzfeed interview. “They become less likely to trust their caregivers, more prone to conceal their misbehaviors, and their behavioral changes are often motivated by the fear of punishment rather than an understanding of the impact of their actions on others.”
I observed this firsthand with my daughter. Instead of learning valuable lessons, she appeared to develop avoidance strategies based on fear—becoming increasingly clever in evading consequences.
For many parents, spanking is an intergenerational practice, sometimes viewed as cultural. Dr. Chen comments, “We often confuse cultural practices with generational trauma. Many communities have faced oppression, and spanking became a common method of discipline, which gets passed down through generations. This leads to misconceptions about cultural norms.”
My daughter’s father, who is of Peruvian descent, also experienced a harsher form of spanking during his upbringing. His mother later expressed regret over using such discipline and wished for her grandchildren not to face the same. Dr. Chen emphasizes, “Just because we experienced this doesn’t mean we have to continue the cycle. It’s not culture; it’s trauma—especially pervasive in communities of color due to systemic oppression.”
Coming from a predominantly white, Christian background, I found spanking completely normalized. For many entrenched in this mindset, it remains a common practice.
Most parents do not spank out of malice; rather, they are often trying to do their best with the tools they were given, hoping to cultivate responsible members of society just as they were taught. Fortunately, it’s never too late to reconsider and make more informed decisions as parents. After stopping spanking, my relationship with my daughter improved dramatically. I’m confident that her reasoning and decision-making skills have developed more robustly without the influence of spanking.
As Dr. Chen concluded, “Understanding that even mild spanking can lead to brain response patterns resembling those seen in abused children raises the question: Why engage in it? It’s simply not worth it.”
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Summary:
Dr. Mia Chen’s insights on spanking reveal its detrimental effects on children’s brain development, equating even mild spanking with severe abuse. As parents reconsider traditional discipline methods, alternatives like conversation and therapy offer healthier pathways for fostering understanding and trust between caregivers and children.