Parenting Advice Column
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This week: How do you support your child with ADHD when it comes to forming friendships?
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
My 9-year-old son, Lucas, has ADHD, and he faces significant challenges in making friends. While his siblings are often invited to playdates and birthday celebrations, he remains on the sidelines. He says he spends recess alone, and it truly saddens me. He’s such a kind-hearted child, yet I worry that his ADHD is hindering his ability to connect with others. I want to ensure he doesn’t feel lonely and that his social skills develop positively. What can I do to help him?
From one parent navigating ADHD to another: I completely understand your concerns. It’s heart-wrenching to witness your child miss out on the social experiences that shape childhood.
Children with ADHD often find it difficult to forge friendships due to their impulsivity and high energy levels. They may jump from one topic to another and sometimes struggle with social cues. Unfortunately, this can lead other kids to avoid them, even though it’s not fair—these kids can’t control their behavior, and the consequences are often painful.
Before you take action, ensure that Lucas truly feels lonely. In my experience with my son, it was often me who was more concerned about his friendships than he was. He once bluntly told me he preferred being alone rather than forcing friendships that didn’t resonate with him. As he matured, he developed social skills and formed close bonds, valuing quality over quantity in his friendships.
If your son does show signs of loneliness, consider a few strategies to assist him. Start by talking to his teacher about the situation. They can help steer him towards peers with whom he may connect. A teacher’s insight into daily interactions can be instrumental in fostering social bonds. Encourage them to pair Lucas with another child who might also feel a bit different; you might be surprised at the connections that can form.
Another approach is to develop social skills at home or with family members. Work on basic interpersonal skills such as maintaining personal space, taking turns in conversation, moderating voice levels, and making eye contact. Be sure to celebrate his successes in using these skills, reinforcing positive behavior.
Explore your son’s interests for potential social outlets. There are clubs or groups tailored to various hobbies that can create natural opportunities for interaction. For instance, my tech-savvy son enjoyed a Minecraft club at our local library, where he could engage with peers who shared his enthusiasm.
When setting up playdates, opt for smaller, calm environments—like your home—rather than crowded places. Children with ADHD can become overwhelmed easily, and a quieter setting will allow them to focus on connecting with one another.
For more tips on helping kids with ADHD navigate friendships and social situations, check out this excellent resource that offers insightful strategies.
It’s tough to watch our children face difficulties, but with patience and guidance, Lucas will find the friendship he deserves.
If you’re interested in more support and resources, you can also read this post on home insemination.
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