Before I ventured back into the dating world in 2016, I rarely heard men refer to women as “crazy.” I was fortunate to be married to a respectful man who understood that a woman’s emotional response didn’t equate to insanity. Growing up with my three sisters and a single mother, we had our share of heated discussions and emotional moments, but we never labeled each other in derogatory terms.
However, after my divorce, it became apparent that many men casually tossed around the term “crazy” when discussing women. I noticed it in their Tinder bios, where they’d write things like “No crazy exes here!” or “My last girlfriend was crazy, so beware!” It was alarming. If every ex is deemed “crazy,” perhaps the common factor is the man himself.
I observed that these so-called “crazy” women often had valid reasons for their reactions—like infidelity or dishonesty on the man’s part. For instance, one guy lamented about his ex being “too needy,” only to later admit he had cheated. Another claimed that his ex was “crazy” for wanting more from him after he had been out drinking every night.
Let me be clear: A woman isn’t “crazy” for wanting respect or for voicing her feelings. Men tend to overreact when their egos are bruised far more than women do in response to disrespect.
As a mother to two boys, I am determined to instill in them the importance of refraining from using the term “crazy” to describe women. Emotions are a natural part of being human, and it’s crucial they understand that their actions can impact others. I want them to empathize with how their behavior affects those around them, and that expressing emotions doesn’t equate to insanity.
Recently, I listened to a podcast featuring two comedians reflecting on their bachelor days. One mentioned how he would challenge his friends for calling women “crazy,” reminding them that their behavior was the root cause of the reactions they were labeling. We need to normalize women asserting themselves and expressing their needs, just as men have done without being criticized for it.
I refuse to let my sons adopt this harmful language. If I don’t teach them now, who will? It’s not what their peers or social media influencers will convey. I want them to recognize that crying or showing vulnerability is a sign of humanity, not “craziness.” If I ever hear them using that word in a derogatory manner, they’ll be facing a lesson on what “crazy” really means.
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In summary, teaching our boys not to label women as “crazy” is essential for fostering empathy and respect. It’s crucial for them to understand the impact of their words and actions on others, promoting a healthier dialogue around emotions and relationships.