Back in sixth grade, a friend of mine pointed out my nose—it’s always been a bit oversized for my face and has a slight curve, much like my dad’s. I’ve inherited his ears too; they don’t lay flat against my head but stick out a little. Just like everyone else, I have my share of insecurities. However, I learned early on that even the most conventionally attractive people have features they wish they could change—things that often go unnoticed by others.
In short, while there are aspects of myself I might like to alter, I’ve come to terms with them. I appreciate who I am and have no desire to change my face. But when it comes to aging, there’s no chance I’m going to let nature take its course, and here’s why.
About six years ago, I woke up one morning and was shocked at how tired I looked. I noticed fine lines around my eyes when I smiled and some creases forming around my mouth. I was diligent—I drank plenty of water, used all the trendy face masks, and slept on my back. Yet nothing seemed to work. Every time I glanced in the mirror or saw a photo of myself, I couldn’t help but think, “That doesn’t look like me!” It felt like my appearance no longer matched how I felt inside. Most days I felt energized and positive, but my reflection seemed to convey a perpetual frown.
After nearly ten years of contemplation, I decided to try Botox, and I was thrilled with the outcome. I even had those frown lines filled, and it was refreshing to see my familiar face looking back at me in the mirror. I liken it to applying a heat serum to my hair before straightening it—it always looks better than when I let it air dry, which tends to be frizzy.
My partner, Jordan, often insists I don’t need Botox or fillers, but I’m not doing it for him or anyone else. It’s for me, and it makes me feel fabulous. Once my hair started turning gray, I noticed it blended with my scalp, making it look like I was losing hair in certain spots. After seeing a side photo of myself before dying it, I thought, “Am I going bald too?” I scheduled an appointment with my stylist, who assured me I wasn’t losing clumps of hair; it was just the gray peeking through.
After coloring my hair, I felt much more like myself again. If going gray is your choice, that’s great! I wish I could pull off a striking silver, but it doesn’t suit my skin tone; it makes me look washed out. As such, I’ll continue coloring my hair for as long as I want because it lifts my spirits—not because I’m trying to conform to anyone’s standards.
Engaging in self-care—whether it’s Botox, filling in my frown lines, coloring my hair, or staying fit—brings me joy because it boosts my self-esteem. When I feel good about my appearance, I have more energy. This positive cycle motivates me to take better care of myself. I prefer to present myself as the best version of me.
When we discover what makes us feel good and authentic, we tend to stick with it. Some might label Botox and hair coloring as vain or a concession to societal pressures, but for me, it’s an expression of autonomy. I’m doing what I want for myself, without seeking approval from others. I’m not bothered by anyone’s judgment. I’m unapologetic about wanting to look younger and smoother.
If I were aging more gracefully, maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to intervene, but the reality is, my aging face bothers me, and thankfully, there are options available. If that means smoothing out wrinkles and coloring my hair, so be it; it’s my body and my face.
I’m proud of my age—I’ll be 46 soon. The objective isn’t to look like I did at 25; it’s to feel good about how I look. For now, that involves the help of needles, my hairstylist, and a variety of serums, and I won’t apologize for it.
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In conclusion, embracing personal choices that enhance our self-image is crucial. This journey of self-acceptance and improvement is uniquely individual, and for many, it’s about feeling empowered and confident in their skin, regardless of age.