In just two months, my oldest child will be graduating high school. Since he was in elementary school, he has struggled academically, barely scraping by each year. School has never been his passion; he can’t stand being cooped up in a classroom all day. There were times when I questioned if he would even make it to graduation.
I do my best to encourage him to turn in his assignments, but I’m not the type of parent who will do his work for him. If he ends up needing summer school or repeating a grade, it might just teach him the importance of responsibility. Despite this, my son is one of the hardest workers I know; he simply isn’t cut out for a desk job. Right now, he’s busy collecting trash at the local dump, working 10-hour shifts during his break, and helping his dad with plumbing on weekends. This is who he is—active and hands-on.
I recognized early on that college might not be the right path for him, unlike my husband and I, who both graduated. When we had three children, we assumed they would all pursue higher education, so we began saving. However, after going through a divorce, saving enough to ensure our kids could attend college debt-free has become a daunting challenge. The average yearly cost for an out-of-state public college is around $21,000, which pales in comparison to the nearly $37,000 for private institutions.
I graduated from a private university back in 1993. Although my mother assisted me a bit, she was raising four kids on her own, and I’m still paying off my student loans, which will take another five years. If my son had expressed a desire to attend college, I would have supported him, but honestly, I feel relieved that he won’t be taking on a mountain of debt. I’m also thankful that I won’t have to apply for more loans to help him cover the costs.
Even though my husband and I earn a decent income, we have other children who also need support. Life often throws curveballs that make saving for college feel nearly impossible. We also want to set aside money for our retirement, ensuring we can be financially independent and not a burden on our kids in the future.
If my son changes his mind about college later in life, I’ll be more than willing to contribute, as I believe he is worth it. The fact that I don’t have to deal with loans, grants, and the endless paperwork that comes with college applications is a significant relief for me. It’s comforting to know he’s making this decision for himself, not simply following his friends into college or because he thinks it’s what his parents expect.
Ultimately, my greatest wish for my children is their happiness, whether that means attending a technical school, trade school, university, or opting out of higher education altogether. I will always support their choices. I refuse to push them into further schooling if they’re not motivated—after all, I experienced that regret myself.
My son is becoming a young adult and must make these decisions independently. I remember being his age and not fully understanding the financial implications of borrowing money for school, even when it was all laid out in front of me.
As a parent to teenagers, there are numerous worries already. I recognize that saving for college is a part of it, but after struggling to engage my son in his studies, there’s no way I would send an unmotivated learner into further debt for more schooling. So, I’m not shy to admit that having this burden lifted is a relief—for both me and eventually, for him too.
If you’re interested in more insights, check out this other blog post for additional perspectives.
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In summary, I’m grateful that my son has chosen not to follow the traditional college route. It alleviates the financial burden and allows him to pursue a path that aligns with his interests and strengths. Supporting his decision is essential, as I want him to be happy and fulfilled, whatever that looks like for him.