Have you ever been told to “smile, darling”? Or perhaps nudged to loosen up and enjoy yourself? Have you experienced a stranger approaching you for a chat, entertainment, or just a quick “hello”? If so, you might find this story from a fellow mom relatable.
A blogger, who goes by the name Right Minded Mom, recently recounted an unsettling incident while she was out jogging, and it sparked widespread discussion. The post attracted over 60,000 reactions and 9,000 comments. Why? Because it perfectly encapsulates sexism in action—an all-too-common experience that’s both annoying and creepy.
“Last summer, while I was running, a man called out and waved from his porch,” Right Minded Mom explained. “I had my music on, but his shout was loud enough to make me stop. I thought he might be warning me about a bear, but when I took out my earbuds and asked what he wanted, he leaned forward looking annoyed. He said, ‘You run by my house all the time and never say hello or wave.’ I had no idea he was even there since he was far back from the road.”
She continued, “I awkwardly apologized, saying ‘Hello then,’ to which he responded, ‘That wasn’t so hard, was it?’ and laughed. I waved and ran off, but by the time I reached home, I was furious.”
Why was she so upset? Because this interaction is emblematic of a larger issue. A man felt entitled to dictate how she should behave and demand her attention, believing it was perfectly acceptable to interrupt her run for his amusement.
Some may dismiss this as harmless or assume he’s just a lonely old man. But Right Minded Mom challenges that thinking. “What do I owe this stranger?” she asked. “If he’s lonely, is it my responsibility to make him feel better? Would he have spoken to a man in the same manner?”
The answer is no. Men typically do not approach other men and instruct them to smile. Society imposes different standards on women, expecting them to be warm and accommodating, while men are often given a pass for intrusive behavior.
“I’m a mother of five,” she explained. “I rarely get a moment to myself. My runs are my escape, a time for me to focus on my speed and thoughts. Yet he thought his needs were more important than mine.”
This mindset is deeply ingrained in many men, who often feel superior and entitled to women’s time and attention. It’s rooted in outdated stereotypes and cultural conditioning that must change. Women are not obligated to entertain men or respond to their demands for acknowledgment.
As activist Bené Viera put it, “Men are socialized to believe they have control over women’s bodies.” When a man tells a woman to smile, he’s essentially asserting that his desires take precedence over her autonomy. This behavior is not just rude; it’s a reflection of a power imbalance that society has tolerated for too long.
Right Minded Mom concluded, “Women do not exist to please men.” Although the old man’s actions might seem minor, they’re indicative of a persistent problem. He felt entitled to her attention due to social conditioning, and unfortunately, his age does not excuse his behavior.
“How often have I heard a man say, ‘Smile, sweetheart?’” she pondered. “How many times have I politely tolerated unwanted advances? Too many. These seemingly small interactions add up to a larger issue, and we can no longer ignore them.”
It’s time to challenge these behaviors when they occur and stop justifying them under the guise of good intentions. Men should not make women feel uncomfortable or dictate how they should behave.
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- How to handle unwanted attention
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In summary, the conversation about women’s rights and autonomy is vital. Elderly men, or men of any age, do not have the right to impose their expectations on women. Such behaviors reflect a larger societal issue that must be addressed. Women deserve respect and the freedom to exist without unsolicited demands or judgment.