Two years before the arrival of my daughter, I transitioned from a public relations career in Washington D.C. back to St. Louis, where my husband and I grew up. He was attending law school in the evenings while I pursued a Master’s in counseling, aspiring to support children and families navigating the challenges of divorce. My own parents’ divorce at the age of twelve left a lasting impact, leading me to want to help others facing similar struggles.
During my first semester in graduate school, our instructor emphasized the importance of self-care for therapists. “Every good therapist sees a therapist,” she said, encouraging us to address our own issues so we could effectively support others. This prompted me to seek therapy with a fully licensed professional, even though I had previous experience. I envisioned attending therapy for just six months to a year, but ten years later, I still find value in our sessions.
Reflecting on my journey, it seems almost fateful that I had a therapist by my side during my pregnancy with my daughter. As we faced one challenging diagnosis after another, the stress only compounded. My focus shifted from addressing past hurts to managing the uncertainty surrounding my daughter’s health as a caregiver.
Just days after her birth, I reached out to my therapist in a moment of anxiety. June hadn’t passed her newborn hearing screening, and I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t want to share our worries with family or friends just yet, as that would make it feel more real. I needed someone to talk to, and my therapist was there for me. Sitting alone in the basement, I waited anxiously for her call. When we connected, I struggled to articulate my fear and sadness. “I’m not okay,” I finally admitted, bursting into tears as I confessed my worries about June’s hearing.
In that moment, my therapist offered me a safe space to express my fears without trying to immediately fix them. Instead, she helped me develop coping strategies, which became mantras I relied on during the weeks that followed. I learned to focus on what I could control, like finding a lactation consultant and navigating sleep schedules for June, rather than spiraling into the unknowns.
Having a therapist during those early days was a lifeline. I felt surrounded by worry and postpartum emotions, and my therapist listened without judgment, allowing me to express my grief. I discovered that Matt and I coped differently; while I gravitated towards discussions about June’s health, he sometimes needed to compartmentalize his feelings. This realization allowed me to seek additional support from others.
In the wake of my experiences, I became aware of the challenges faced by caregivers of children with rare diseases. When Matt and I established the June Jessee Memorial Foundation after her passing, we aimed to create resources for families walking similar paths. I was thrilled to see a position created at St. Louis Children’s Hospital for a therapist to support parents of children with neurological issues, highlighting the importance of mental health care.
Today, I continue to work through some of the challenges I initially sought help for. The tools I’ve gained over the years have equipped me to face new struggles, including anxiety surrounding my healthy children. The journey of motherhood is ongoing and complex, but I am committed to navigating it with resilience.
For more insights on navigating the complexities of parenthood, you can check out this other blog post about home insemination. If you’re looking to enhance your fertility journey, resources like Make a Mom can provide valuable information. Additionally, Cleveland Clinic’s podcast offers excellent insights into IVF and fertility preservation.
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In summary, my therapist played a crucial role in helping me navigate the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood, particularly during challenging times. Through her support, I learned valuable coping mechanisms and the importance of seeking help. This experience has shaped my journey as a parent and inspired me to advocate for mental health resources for caregivers.