Have you ever noticed how stepping into motherhood can resemble that awkward phase of adolescence? You know, that time when emotions are all over the place, you’re unsure of your identity, and it feels like no one understands what you’re going through? This stage of transitioning into motherhood has a name: Matrescence.
You may have been led to believe that the moment your baby is handed to you, motherhood just clicks into place. The reality is far more complex. The journey to becoming a mother can dramatically alter your life, and understanding Matrescence is vital for both mothers and their support networks.
The term Matrescence was introduced in the 1970s by anthropologist Dana Louise Raphael to validate the transition into motherhood. In 2008, reproductive psychologist Layla Johnson, Ph.D., brought it back into the conversation. She describes Matrescence as a comprehensive change that impacts various aspects of life—biological, psychological, social, and even spiritual. This developmental phase can start as early as preconception and may recur with each child, lasting a lifetime.
Dr. Johnson often notes that both teenagers and new moms share a common experience: “It feels like everything’s turned upside down, and I can’t recognize myself anymore. I don’t know who I am yet. Nothing will ever be the same.” If this resonates with you, know that you are definitely not alone.
Unlike adolescence, however, the transformation of Matrescence often goes unrecognized. Mothers typically navigate this challenging transition under difficult circumstances, such as sleep deprivation and high expectations, all while caring for a vulnerable infant. To make matters worse, you’re thrust back into daily life without ample support or acknowledgment of your struggles.
As you adapt to your new role, you’re also developing new skills, navigating relationships, and redefining your identity. This can feel overwhelming, especially as you mourn the life you once knew. These changes often catch many mothers off guard. When seeking support online, you might find yourself inundated with images of the “ideal” mother, which can leave you feeling inadequate.
It’s common to recognize the physical changes that happen when you become a mom—hormones, body changes, stretch marks—but motherhood encompasses much more than just the physical. Dr. Johnson’s research reveals that Matrescence is not limited to biological mothers; it includes experiences from adoption, surrogacy, and step-parenting. Participants in her studies reported similar feelings, regardless of how they became mothers.
Motherhood is a whirlwind of emotions—happiness, fear, pride, guilt, and everything in between. It’s easy to feel caught between the idealized vision of motherhood and the tough realities you face. Many mothers struggle in silence, feeling the need to hide emotions that don’t align with societal expectations of motherhood. Some mistakenly equate these feelings with postpartum depression, but that’s not always the case.
Understanding Matrescence can help mothers recognize that it’s normal to have both good days and challenging ones. Psychologically, becoming a mother forces a reevaluation of your identity and priorities. Dr. Johnson likens this to a game of 52-card pickup, where everything you knew is scattered, and you must piece it back together.
You may feel like a mess during this process, but Dr. Johnson compares it to a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. “The wings need to press and break through. This struggle strengthens the new identity. It takes time,” she explains.
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In summary, Matrescence is a vital concept that encapsulates the complex transformation into motherhood. By acknowledging this journey, mothers can better navigate the emotional and psychological changes that come with this new role. It’s a reminder that the path to motherhood is not a straight line but rather a winding road filled with ups and downs, growth, and the need for support.