I am an advocate for pro-choice rights and a mother to a 12-year-old boy with Down syndrome. At first glance, these two identities might not seem at odds, yet the reality is stark: approximately 67% of pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome end in abortion. This statistic reveals a troubling societal tendency to undervalue individuals like my son, leading me to grapple with my pro-choice beliefs.
I firmly support the principle of bodily autonomy, which I believe is a fundamental human right. Women should not be compelled to carry a pregnancy against their will, just as individuals with intellectual disabilities, like my son, deserve the freedom to choose how they live their lives—free from institutionalization or coercive practices like sterilization. In essence, advocacy for disability rights and support for abortion access can align in their pursuit of personal freedom.
However, the political landscape of the pro-choice movement often strays from the core issue of bodily autonomy. Too frequently, it emphasizes abortion in specific scenarios—such as cases of rape, maternal health risks, or fetal anomalies—leading me to feel conflicted.
When my partner was eight weeks pregnant with our son, he was diagnosed with a heart condition commonly associated with Down syndrome. We were devastated, not only by the heart issue but also by the potential challenges of his intellectual disability. Yet, according to a prior agreement, we communicated to our doctor that termination was not an option. Instead of respecting our decision, we faced pressure to consider amniocentesis, which was suggested with the expectation that a confirmed diagnosis would lead to abortion. This experience reflects a broader narrative among parents of children with Down syndrome.
Why Did We Choose to Continue with the Pregnancy?
I believe in fate and karma, trusting that our child would be perfect for us. Our financial stability and health insurance also played a significant role in our decision. While I support that abortion remains an option, I am frustrated by how it is often presented in medical settings and within the pro-choice movement as a nearly automatic response to a Down syndrome diagnosis. This perspective tends to stem from ignorance about the realities of raising a child with Down syndrome and is built on fear.
Life with my son is filled with both distinct challenges and joys. At twelve, he is mostly nonverbal but expresses himself vividly through his emotions. He brings laughter into our home with his delightful sense of humor. While academic pursuits can be tough, I have learned to value his growth as a kind friend over traditional achievements. His remarkable ability to find joy in everyday activities, like swinging or jumping on a trampoline, has been enlightening.
Regrettably, the medical community often overlooks the holistic view of what life with a child like mine can entail, focusing instead on fear-based narratives. The pro-choice movement similarly perpetuates this bias whenever it suggests that disability is a compelling reason for abortion.
What Do I Hope For?
I wish the pro-choice movement would refrain from using disability as a justification for abortion. Why is it deemed more acceptable to argue for the termination of a fetus diagnosed with Down syndrome than to assert a woman’s right to choose for any reason? Furthermore, I would like to see a shift towards providing unbiased information regarding prenatal diagnoses. When the medical community promotes negative stereotypes about living with Down syndrome, it fails to empower women to make truly informed choices about their pregnancies.
Women deserve access to impartial data and the freedom to make decisions that are best for them.
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Summary
The article discusses the complexities of being pro-choice while raising a son with Down syndrome, highlighting the troubling statistic that a significant percentage of pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome end in abortion. It reflects on the importance of bodily autonomy and the need for unbiased information in prenatal care, calling for a shift in the pro-choice narrative to respect all choices without stigmatizing disability.