Just like the controversial figure who shall remain nameless, I’m not inclined to give attention to the latest outburst from Rachel Hollis regarding her privilege. Negative feedback seems to be embraced by her (#notrelatable), but her comments highlight a deeper issue that many privileged individuals face, often referring to their housekeepers dismissively as merely “the individual who cleans my restrooms.”
This perspective reveals a troubling disconnect; it reduces us to a singular task, often perceived as the most demeaning aspect of our jobs. In reality, cleaning a restroom isn’t the most challenging part of my work; rather, it’s navigating the mindset of those who believe I should be eternally grateful for their financial generosity, as if their wealth is my fortune.
Relying on income from those who are often unaware of their own privilege is hardly a blessing. It’s a job that can sometimes feel like an act of self-denial. I spent several years as a full-time housekeeper before transitioning to being a stay-at-home parent. Once my kids entered kindergarten, I resumed cleaning for a handful of my favorite clients. Over the past few years, I’ve returned to part-time cleaning while also freelancing and offering LGBTQIA+ inclusivity training both locally and nationally.
I carry a wealth of stories and experiences that have shaped, entertained, and rewarded me throughout my career. Yet, there are also moments I wish I could forget. Although I charged the same rates and offered identical services with equal dedication, the homeowners varied dramatically. I once managed 25 different households, yet some clients treated me as if I were merely there to fulfill their every whim.
I eventually replaced those who imposed nonsensical restrictions, such as insisting I wear only indoor sneakers to alleviate pain, questioning my cleaning methods (absolutely not using a toilet sponge on kitchen counters!), demanding tax compliance on my pay (where do I even start?), and displaying shock when I shared that I also hold a college degree. When I realized these individuals weren’t capable of respect, I made it clear they needed to find a different cleaner.
In the early days of building my business, I had to maintain a full schedule, even if it meant enduring clients who left messes for me to address. For them, why should they make my job simpler? Why pay for something they could do themselves? However, for the clients I cherished, hiring me transcended a mere financial transaction; it embodied respect and appreciation for my role in easing their burdens. One client even referred to me as her “House Angel,” a title I still ponder why I haven’t added to my resume.
I am a business owner providing a service, and I fully acknowledge my role as hired help. But when my work is minimized to cleaning up after you, it strips away my identity as a human being, a friend, a parent, and a partner. You fail to see me as someone who enjoys cleaning restrooms but also has aspirations of returning to school, writing a novel, and seeking stability in gig work. You overlook my desire for affordable healthcare, paid time off, and a retirement plan.
In her now-deleted TikTok tirade, Hollis claims, “Most people won’t work this hard. Most people won’t get up at 4 a.m.” In reality, many of us do, but the difference is that we don’t have the luxury of failure. Reaching the pinnacle of success requires perfection, favorable circumstances, and the absence of discrimination.
I highly recommend checking out the insights from Austin Channing Brown regarding the flawed feminism Hollis displayed. It’s essential to learn and share these lessons appropriately.
When you diminish the contributions of people like me who come to your home to work, you fail to recognize how my presence allows you the time to work, exercise, socialize, or even take a much-needed nap. You overlook your privilege to hire help that facilitates your opportunities for personal and professional growth.
No, your housekeeper didn’t write your books or embark on exhausting tours, but having one certainly allowed you the time to do both and return home without the burden of cleaning.
When you equate your success and hard work with entitlement to having someone clean your space, you imply that my efforts and definition of success are inferior. I’m striving for financial stability post-divorce and after years of being out of the workforce. My daily reality looks vastly different from those privileged enough to flaunt their lives on social media, yet the hard work remains constant.
Let’s acknowledge the hard work and dedication of domestic workers and recognize the value we bring to the table.
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Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of recognizing and valuing domestic work, challenging the dismissive attitudes often held by privileged individuals towards their housekeepers. It recounts personal experiences of balancing multiple households while highlighting the need for respect and appreciation in service roles. The narrative advocates for greater awareness of the hard work and dedication of domestic workers, encouraging a shift in perspective regarding their contributions to household dynamics.