My daughter took her time with potty training, and I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. As she approached her fourth birthday still relying on Pull-Ups, I struggled with the fear of being judged by others. We weren’t just dealing with a few nighttime accidents; we hadn’t even begun the process. She flatly refused to step foot in a bathroom, whether it was the regular toilet or the adorable little penguin potty I had splurged on. It was a true battle of wills, and she wasn’t budging.
We tried every type of underwear imaginable—character-themed ones, pretty pink ones adorned with rainbows and unicorns, even sensory-friendly microfiber pairs. Each time we brought them home, I hoped they would inspire her to use the potty, but it never worked.
Frustration reached its peak when my husband decided to give it a go. He sat her on the potty with an iPad and some massive headphones, encouraging her to try. I chuckled, having attempted this countless times over two years with no success. She cried, screamed, and tried to escape, but surprisingly, he managed to get her to sit back down. Suddenly, I heard the pitter-patter of drops in the toilet. She was going—crying yet relieved. Through her tears, she exclaimed, “That wasn’t scary at all.”
It was fear of the unknown that had been holding her back.
This wasn’t a quick fix; it took a few more days for her to feel comfortable. She would go for my husband or my mother but not for me. When I finally asked her why, she replied, “They’re nice to me.” That hit me hard. My frustration had made her feel I was being harsh. I softened my approach, and soon after, we had a breakthrough. Tears of joy streamed down my face when she successfully used the potty for me. Eventually, she mastered it and has never needed a Pull-Up at night since. I couldn’t be prouder.
Here are five tips I wish I had known during this challenging time to save you some tears and laundry:
1. Don’t Force It
It can be tempting to rush the process, but the truth is that your child will only succeed when they’re ready. Every child is unique, and some may take longer than others to feel comfortable. It’s essential to let them take the lead.
2. Exercise Patience
If you want quicker results, resist the urge to give up too soon. You may need to dedicate a weekend to sitting on the bathroom floor, reading stories, and bonding. Your patience will lead to a more positive experience.
3. Avoid Anger or Threats
If frustrations boil over, take a moment to breathe. Yelling won’t help; it will only create negative associations with potty training. Instead, consider rewards, like letting them choose new underwear or a movie.
4. The Naked Method Isn’t Foolproof
Many swear by letting toddlers go without clothes to help them recognize when they need to go. However, this doesn’t work for every child. If they have an accident, it doesn’t mean you failed—try using underwear instead.
5. Praise is Key
Kids thrive on positive reinforcement. Celebrate their successes with hugs, smiles, and perhaps small rewards like stickers or treats. Your encouragement will motivate them to keep progressing.
Potty training can be a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be miserable. Remember, you’re asking your child to do something completely new and potentially frightening. A calm and cheerful demeanor will make the process easier for both of you. Accidents and tears are part of the journey, and if your child is a late potty trainer, know that it’s perfectly fine. Give yourself grace—you have time!
For more insights, check out this other blog post here. For expert advice, visit Cryobaby for home insemination kits and Cleveland Clinic’s podcast for insights on pregnancy.
Summary
Navigating potty training, especially with a late starter, requires patience, understanding, and a positive approach. Allow your child to lead the way, be there to support them, and reinforce their accomplishments. Above all, remember that every child develops at their own pace, and that’s perfectly okay.