Lobster Puns and Jokes to Make You Crustacean Laugh!

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If you’ve ever found yourself at a seafood restaurant, you might have picked a lobster from the tank, thinking it was all fun and games. However, you soon discovered that not all lobsters are created equal. Depending on your choice, you might have ended up with a hefty bill for a large one or a small dish that left you still hungry. At least if you went for the smaller option, your wallet might not have felt too light—plus, if you were at a place like Red Lobster, you could indulge in those delicious cheddar biscuits! While those dinner mishaps might not have seemed amusing at the moment, we’re here to turn that frown upside down with some delightful lobster puns and jokes to enjoy at your next seafood feast.

Lobsters are fascinating creatures, and those tanks at the grocery store do wonders to improve their reputation. Although, let’s be honest, coming face-to-face with one on the beach can be a bit unnerving—we can’t help but think about those claws! Speaking of claws, here are some puns and jokes to share that will surely make a splash!

Lobster Puns

1. Lobsters prefer their morning clawfee hot.
2. When a lobster answers the phone, it says, “Shello?”
3. Lobsters love holiday celebrations because it’s ’tis the sea-son.
4. One lobster cried when its teacher called it a lost claws.
5. The subject the lobster struggled with was algae-bra.
6. A lobster left home due to pier pressure.
7. Lady lobsters wear seashells because they’ve outgrown their B-shells.
8. The lobster asked its catfish friend, “Who is your cod-father?”
9. Someone searched Portland for lobster but was disappointed—it’s supposed to be a Maine attraction!
10. The lobster lost its fortune because it was shelling out too much money.
11. Lobsters make terrible friends; they’re just too shellfish.
12. A lobster reported a crime, but the police asked it to be more Pacific.
13. When one lobster considered proposing, his friend asked if he was shore.
14. During a lobster wedding, the groom referred to his new spouse as his “butter half.”
15. A lobster said it would dive into boiling water, but everyone thought he was cray-sea.
16. At a farewell party, one lobster told another, “You’re one shell of a guy.”
17. The lobster felt it would be hard to retire, as it was tide to its job.
18. Since the crustacean was late for work every day, she lobster job.
19. After snapping at his friend, the lobster apologized, saying he was just salty.
20. The lobster playing tennis was a true lob-star.
21. A lobster’s signature move is the lob.
22. If you cross a lobster with a telephone, you’ll get snappy talk.
23. Expecting a call, the lobster crabbed the phone.
24. The ocean said nothing to the lobster—it just waved.
25. The lobster blushed because of the sea weed.

Lobster Jokes

1. I dined at Mary Poppins’ Restaurant last night…Super cauliflower cheese, but the lobster was atrocious.
2. Why are lobsters bad at sharing? Because they’re shellfish.
3. What do you call a lobster that’s afraid of tight spaces? Claws-trophobic.
4. How about a tired and overworked lobster? A frustracean.
5. I asked the waiter how they prepared the lobster at the seafood restaurant. He replied, “We just tell him the truth, man. ‘This is the end of the line.’”
6. A man saw a sign that said “Lobster Tails, $5” and thought it was a good deal. He handed over a $5 bill and waited for his tail. The seller said, “Once upon a time, there was this lobster…”
7. Did you hear about the fight at Red Lobster? Four fish were battered!
8. Who delivers gifts to good lobsters on Christmas? Santa Claws.
9. How much salt do lobsters use when cooking pasta? Just a pinch.
10. Where do lobsters work at the bread factory? At the crust station.
11. One lobster took another out on a date. The male lobster offered to pay, making the female blush. “It’s be-claws I love you,” he said.
12. How do lobsters travel around the beach? By shell-i-copter.
13. What do you call a famous lobster? A shellebrity.
14. Where do crabs and lobsters park their public transport? At the bustacean.
15. Why did the lobster visit the physical therapist? It pulled a mussel.
16. A man ordered lobster for dinner but complained when it arrived with only one claw. The waiter explained, “That lobster was in a fight.” The man replied, “OK, then bring me the winner!”
17. Why couldn’t the woman eat shrimp, lobsters, and clams cooked by heated water vapor? She has shellfish steam issues.
18. What do you call a crab that throws things? A lobster.
19. Where does a lobster store its clothes? In the clawset.
20. Why was the ocean screaming? You would too if you had lobsters on your bottom!
21. Did you hear about the lobster that rode a sea mammal into battle? He did it on porpoise.
22. Where are there no hipster lobsters? In the Maine stream.
23. Where do lobsters go to borrow money? To the prawn brokers.
24. What’s a perfect name for a pet lobster? Clawde.
25. Did you hear about the big fight between blue lobsters and red lobsters? Other lobsters said it was like a sea-n from a movie.
26. What’s worse than lobsters on your piano? Crabs on your organ.
27. Where do lobsters wait for the bus? At the bustacean.

Enjoy these puns and jokes, and don’t forget to share them at your next seafood gathering! For more interesting reads, check out this post about home insemination kits. If you’re curious about the process, this link will provide you with helpful information. Additionally, the Cleveland Clinic offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.

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In summary, these lobster puns and jokes will not only lighten the mood at your next seafood dinner, but they’ll also add a dash of humor to your conversations. Whether you’re a fan of these marine crustaceans or just looking for a good laugh, these quips are sure to entertain!