We have two adorable pet ducks that my kids adore and care for. When we adopted them last year, I agreed to handle their food, hay, and all necessary supplies for their comfort — including their own little pool. However, the understanding was clear: my teenagers would be responsible for all the maintenance tasks. This includes feeding them, cleaning up their messes, and ensuring they have fresh water for their daily splashes.
Unfortunately, the cleaning part has been a challenge. Who knew ducks could be so messy? They enjoy roaming around our yard, which is fine because they help control the mosquito and tick population. But, these ducks also love to waddle up to our front porch, leaving behind splatters of duck droppings that resemble baseballs. That’s where I draw the line. I refuse to have a porch littered with duck waste.
So, when I noticed my children ignoring the mess (yet somehow found time to make outfits for the ducks), I told them they needed to keep the ducks off the porch. Then, I discovered they were using my lovely white dishes to feed these feathery companions. Despite purchasing duck feeders, they apparently preferred the sound of porcelain. One day, I found my favorite bowl, cracked and dirty in the coop, and I completely lost it on my kids.
It was one of those moments where I yelled so much that I lost my voice. My kids probably think of me as a ticking time bomb. There are days when I worry if all they hear from me is yelling, and I feel disappointed in myself. But then I remind myself that I’ve calmly asked them multiple times over the past year not to use my favorite mug for the ducks and to clean up the mess on the porch. Most of the time, they simply “forget.”
I’ve tried all kinds of approaches: asking nicely, joking about it, and even offering ice cream if they would just clean up after the ducks. If they wanted something from me, I’d say, “Not until you start taking better care of the ducks.”
This scenario is just one of many. We often go back and forth about keeping their rooms tidy, turning in homework on time, taking out the trash, and folding laundry. As mothers, we know when our limits are tested. Eventually, we reach a breaking point after asking our family to step up and clean up after themselves, only to be ignored. And that’s when we yell.
I lost it that day, and my kids were furious at me, retreating to their rooms. It’s tough to admit as a mom, but we’ve all been there. After some time, they slowly came back down. My son scrubbed the front porch and took out the trash. They all chipped in to clean up the random dishes from the coop and tidied their rooms. Afterward, we went to grab some shakes without saying much on the way.
After a bit of time and sugar, we managed to reconnect. Sometimes it takes raising your voice to get kids to straighten up and behave. I’m not afraid to let my voice rise when necessary, and I don’t feel like an unfit parent for doing so. While I wish it didn’t have to come to that, it’s just part of our household dynamic. I do feel guilty about losing my cool, but at times, it feels necessary when I feel overlooked and ignored. I can feel guilt but not regret because, honestly, it works, and sometimes that’s all that matters.
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Summary:
In this article, Mia Johnson discusses the challenges of parenting teenagers and the occasional necessity of raising her voice to ensure they take responsibility for their chores, particularly when it comes to caring for their pet ducks. Despite feeling guilty about losing her temper, she acknowledges it sometimes leads to positive outcomes, prompting her kids to take action. The piece highlights the balance of maintaining authority and nurturing relationships within the family.