The phrase “kindness is always possible” has gained traction on social media platforms, adorning everything from t-shirts to mugs. Phrases like “choose kindness” and “spread kindness” resonate with many, reflecting ideals of love and empathy. However, the notion that kindness can be extended to everyone, regardless of their actions, is fundamentally flawed. Not everyone deserves our respect or consideration.
Allow me to elaborate. As a determined individual who works tirelessly to support myself and my family, I identify as a proud member of the LGBTQ community. Despite my self-acceptance, I encounter hostility and judgment due to my gender, political beliefs, and sexual orientation. While I can withstand criticism, I refuse to support those who actively seek to oppress me—individuals who vote for leaders that undermine my rights and dignity.
You might suggest that I engage with these people to educate them or “kill them with kindness.” But should I invest my emotional energy in loving those who harbor hatred? Instead, I choose to confront ignorance and intolerance head-on. I won’t turn toxic hostility into a lesson in kindness.
Teaching kindness is common in educational settings; however, it shouldn’t overshadow the necessity of teaching justice. As noted in an article from Learning for Justice, focusing solely on kindness may gloss over essential differences in how people experience the world.
Moreover, always being the “nice” person can take a toll on mental health. Those who prioritize kindness often grapple with self-criticism and may find themselves in unhealthy relationships. Psychology Today highlights how this constant desire to please can lead to burnout and hinder honest communication.
So, what should you do instead?
Engage with unkind individuals assertively and factually. Set boundaries, remembering that kindness does not mean being a doormat. Your mental health should take precedence, and you should remove yourself from toxic relationships that leave you feeling undervalued.
Remember, respect and kindness are earned, not freely given. You shouldn’t sacrifice your well-being to accommodate others.
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In summary, while kindness is a noble sentiment, it shouldn’t blind us to the realities of injustice and hate. We must prioritize our mental well-being and engage with the world in a way that reflects respect and self-worth.