I recognized I had a problem when I started using meditation as a chance to multitask. Encouraged by friends who rave about apps like Calm and Headspace, I decided to join the meditation trend during the tumultuous year of 2020, hoping it would help me find the “center” I felt I had lost amid mountains of laundry, endless dishes, constant Zoom calls with my kids, my own work responsibilities, and the incessant meowing of our cat reminding me his food bowl was empty again. Yet, as a gentleman with a charming British accent guided me to breathe and let my thoughts drift, I found myself simultaneously planning dinner, contemplating which Netflix series to binge next, and listening for any commotion from my kids in the next room to ensure no one was fighting or hurt. By the time the recording ended, I checked “Meditate” off my mental to-do list, but I felt just as uncentered as when I began.
It’s a well-known cliché that mothers are perpetually tired. But I was genuinely exhausted. Often, I felt tired yet content, sometimes tired and anxious, occasionally tired and irritable—but tired was the constant. When you have a newborn, you can attribute fatigue to a genuine lack of sleep, but my children are good sleepers, out of diapers, and capable of handling many daily tasks independently. My level of exhaustion at the end of each day didn’t seem to match my “mom-of-newborn” fatigue.
Then it dawned on me: perhaps my constant tiredness stemmed from my relentless multitasking. Most of the time, my body was engaged in one activity while my mind was occupied with another. Even when I focused on tasks like checking emails, I was rapidly toggling between messages from work, my kids’ school, friends, overly persistent political groups, and more. No wonder I felt drained by 6 PM.
Recently, I decided to make a change and rediscovered the concept of “single-tasking.” This involves selecting one task and dedicating my attention solely to it until it’s completed; you might remember this from your pre-kid days. For example, when responding to work emails, I opened only those messages and ignored all other distractions. More importantly, when spending time with my kids, I aimed to be fully present instead of prematurely worrying about what needed to happen next.
Of course, as a parent, it’s unrealistic to single-task all the time. Many of my efforts get interrupted. However, every time I manage to focus, I notice that tasks are completed more quickly and often more effectively because I’m giving them my full attention. When that “task” is quality time with my children or my partner, we all feel happier and more at ease when we concentrate solely on one another. Physically, I also feel less fatigued. While the tiredness hasn’t vanished completely, for my mind, single-tasking acts like a quick power nap.
Sometimes, we mothers take pride in our multitasking abilities, and rightly so, as the female brain is a formidable force. However, there’s a fine line between effective multitasking and pushing ourselves into burnout. I came perilously close to that line this past year, but I’m moving forward, one step—and task—at a time. For more insights, check out this other blog post on home insemination and discover helpful resources like those at CDC. If you’re considering home insemination, Make A Mom can provide the authority and guidance you need.
Summary:
In this reflection, Jamie Carter shares her journey from constant exhaustion to discovering the benefits of “single-tasking.” By focusing on one task at a time—whether responding to emails or spending quality time with family—she experiences increased productivity and a greater sense of well-being. This shift helps her combat the fatigue that comes from juggling multiple responsibilities as a parent.