My children have been asking for a “Yes Day” for a few years now. This special day involves saying yes to everything they request—within reason—for a full 24 hours. I always delayed making this happen by asking them what their dream day would look like. Their answer? Unlimited screen time.
First off, since my kids are not exactly deprived of electronics, we could easily accommodate that wish, as there have been countless days filled with video games and movies. But a real “Yes Day” requires more creativity—which is partly why I kept postponing it. If we’re going to commit to a day of saying yes, they need to come up with fun ideas and activities. I mentioned we should set some rules for the day, but that was as far as we got in terms of planning.
After watching the Netflix film Yes Day, starring Jennifer Garner, the idea resurfaced, and I’m now determined to put our “Yes Day” on the calendar. The film is inspired by the book of the same name by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, and before starring in the movie, Garner used the book as motivation to give her kids a “Yes Day” each year. Her quest for joy led her to transform the book—and her family tradition—into a film. Garner shared with Scary Mommy, “I pitched it, produced it, found the writer. I wanted to do this and chose to work. I need joy as a person. And I need joy coming at me. I need to put it out there. I felt like this was a chance to do it. And I think we did.”
While watching the movie, my kids and I found joy, but we also gained reminders and appreciation for one another—something that can easily get lost in the chaos of everyday life, especially during a pandemic. The film highlights the contrast between life pre-kids and post-kids, showing how much easier it is to say yes when you’re only responsible for yourself or your partner. When kids come into the picture, their desires for “fun” often involve risky decisions, and these requests usually pop up right before bedtime, during homework time, or when focus is needed elsewhere.
It’s not that parents don’t want kids to have fun; it’s that keeping them safe is a daunting task, and saying no sometimes feels like the only option. Sorry, kiddos, I know you just asked for ice cream, but I interpreted that as Can we set the porch on fire?
Watching the movie from my kids’ perspective made me more aware of how often I say no. I noticed their disappointment when they anticipated a negative response. I feel that same disappointment when I see it on my own kids’ faces, and it honestly hurts. I understand that I’m busy, stressed, and managing a lot—just like Garner’s character—but I want to be more playful with my kids before they outgrow wanting to have fun with me. Sometimes I tell myself there’s plenty of time, but my oldest is already 10, and my twins are nearly eight. “Yes Day” served as a reminder to seize the moment while they’re still at an age where we can create incredible memories together.
One unexpected and refreshing aspect of “Yes Day” was how it illustrated the typical dynamics that unfold in family life. Often, one parent is seen as the fun, laid-back one (typically the dad) while the other is the responsible planner (often the mom) who is tasked with maintaining order. My kids recognized this dynamic as it played out onscreen. Initially, they thought I should be more like the “fun dad,” but they also saw that my ex and I share parenting responsibilities fairly.
This glimpse into the parenting process allowed my children to understand the thought and effort that goes into decision-making. They recognized their role in the chaos of family life and began to appreciate why I can’t always say yes. I acknowledged their feelings and expressed my desire to say yes more often, aiming to bring fun, kid-driven plans into our daily lives. Parenting is a beautiful journey, and occasionally saying yes to ice cream for dinner is perfectly fine. We even discussed making intentional plans for our “Yes Day” once the pandemic is less of a concern.
We all agreed that the frequent “no’s” due to the pandemic have been disheartening, but we can wait a few more months to truly enjoy a well-planned day of “yes.”
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Search Queries:
- What is a Yes Day?
- How to plan a fun family day?
- Creative ideas for family activities?
- Benefits of saying yes to your kids?
- How to balance parenting and fun?
Summary: Watching “Yes Day” with my kids reminded us of the importance of joy and connection, highlighting the balance between fun and responsibility in parenting. Inspired by this film, we are now determined to plan our own “Yes Day” while recognizing the need for more playful moments together.