I identify as pro-choice and am also a mother to a 12-year-old boy with Down syndrome. At first glance, these two aspects of my life may not seem to clash, but the reality is complex. Approximately 67% of pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome are terminated, highlighting a troubling trend where society often devalues individuals like my son. This reality has led me to grapple with my pro-choice beliefs.
I firmly believe in bodily autonomy as a fundamental human right. Women should have the freedom to choose whether to continue a pregnancy, just as individuals with intellectual disabilities deserve the right to live freely, without the fear of institutionalization or forced procedures. At its core, the advocacy for disability rights aligns closely with the support for abortion rights.
However, I find that the pro-choice movement frequently fails to emphasize bodily autonomy as the primary reason for legal abortion. Instead, discussions often center around specific circumstances such as rape, maternal health, or fetal disabilities. This is where my internal conflict arises.
When my partner was eight weeks pregnant, our son was diagnosed with a heart condition commonly associated with Down syndrome. We faced not only the challenge of his health but also the societal pressure to consider termination. Despite the medical community’s inclination to push for abortion following such a diagnosis, we made it clear that we would not terminate the pregnancy. Unfortunately, our decision was met with skepticism and pressure to reconsider.
Our choice was rooted in a belief that every child is meant to be in our lives, and we felt equipped, both emotionally and financially, to care for a child with additional needs. While I support the option of abortion, I resent the narrative propagated by medical professionals and within the pro-choice movement that frames termination as the default response to a Down syndrome diagnosis. Such views often stem from a lack of understanding about the realities of raising a child with Down syndrome, perpetuating a cycle of fear and misinformation.
Living with my son has brought both challenges and joys. He communicates nonverbally but expresses himself through his emotions and humor, often filling our home with laughter. While academics can be a struggle, I have shifted my focus away from traditional measures of success like grades, instead prioritizing his personal development and relationships. His ability to find joy in simple moments, even during difficult times like the pandemic, is a testament to his resilience.
Unfortunately, societal attitudes towards my son are far more challenging than the day-to-day hurdles we face. From difficulty finding daycare to schools underestimating his potential, the stigma surrounding disabilities is pervasive. This societal bias is both a symptom and a cause of misconceptions perpetuated by the pro-choice movement, particularly regarding disability.
What do I hope for? Firstly, I wish pro-choice advocates would refrain from using disability as a primary argument for abortion. Why is terminating a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis treated as more acceptable than simply affirming a woman’s right to choose for any reason? Secondly, I advocate for the pro-choice movement to provide comprehensive, unbiased information about prenatal diagnoses. When medical professionals present skewed narratives about disabilities, they hinder a woman’s ability to make an informed decision about her pregnancy.
Women deserve access to non-judgmental information that empowers them to make the best choice for their lives. It’s essential to foster an environment where all options are weighed fairly without the influence of fear-based rhetoric.
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In summary, my experience as a pro-choice mother of a child with Down syndrome has highlighted the complexities of societal perceptions surrounding disability. While I support a woman’s right to choose, I challenge the narratives that devalue lives like my son’s and advocate for more informed choices in the medical community.