I distinctly remember a Saturday morning when I rushed out the door for my son’s basketball game, feeling furious enough to scream. I had asked my (now ex) husband to vacuum while I went for a quick run. Coming home, I found he hadn’t done it, and the kids were still lounging around in their pajamas, glued to the TV.
I had just an hour to prepare myself and three kids, surrounded by dog hair from our two furry companions, only to return home and tackle the mess myself. Weekends were supposed to be my escape, a chance to get outside while he watched the kids. Instead, it felt like I was the only one putting in the effort.
Every morning, I got the kids ready for school, worked, and managed household chores, while he focused on running his business. I thought I could rely on him to step into my shoes for just an hour, but that never seemed to happen. I believed he should just know what needed to be done, but often, it felt like pulling teeth to get him to help.
It was disheartening to see him opt-out of tasks because they seemed “too hard” or because the kids were happy as they were. It made me feel insignificant, as if he couldn’t be bothered to make my life easier, or give me a break from the daily grind.
Too many men play the confused card, acting like they don’t grasp the significance of what’s being asked. But let’s be clear: this is pure laziness. Women are utterly fed up with having to constantly remind their partners of what needs to be done, or how they can pitch in around the house. After all, they share the same space.
One day, while cooking dinner and wrangling my toddlers, I heard a psychologist on Oprah discussing the frustrations of a couple. The husband couldn’t understand why his wife was upset about him not replacing the paper towels after using the last one. “It’s not just about the paper towels,” the psychologist explained. “It’s about her request being ignored time and time again.”
That struck a chord with me. It wasn’t only about the mundane tasks; it was about being seen and respected. When my ex neglected small responsibilities, it felt like a lack of care, and over time, it chipped away at our relationship.
As divorce coach Matthew Fray puts it, leaving a glass on the sink isn’t just about the glass. It symbolizes a disregard for your partner’s feelings. When my ex did things like that, I felt unappreciated, as if I were in a parenting role rather than an equal partner. This dynamic can severely impact intimacy and connection.
We don’t want to parent our partners; we crave equality. While I would make an effort with things that mattered to him, like a time-consuming chicken recipe he loved, it’s hard to keep that up when reciprocity is lacking.
It’s not enough to say, “Just tell me what to do.” If your relationship is already strained, that’s insufficient. You know what needs to be done—reflect back on your last argument or the many times you’ve been reminded about your contributions. It’s not an unreasonable ask to roll up your sleeves and share the responsibilities of running a household.
I’ve noticed that my ex is now taking on more chores with his new girlfriend. Just yesterday, they were both bringing in groceries—a task I used to do alone. It’s been tough to watch him be a better partner to her than he was to me. When I asked him about it, he admitted he didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes. Maybe she’ll thank me one day.
For those seeking more resources, check out this post on car safety that might be beneficial. Additionally, if you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom is an authority on the topic. You can also find valuable information about fertility insurance here.
Search Queries:
- How to communicate in a relationship
- Signs you’re doing too much in a relationship
- How to balance home responsibilities
- Why couples fight about chores
- Understanding your partner’s needs
In summary, women are tired of having to take on the role of a parent to their partners. Everyone deserves to feel respected and valued in a relationship. It’s about finding balance, acknowledging each other’s efforts, and stepping up to share responsibilities, rather than leaving one person to manage it all.