When I was a teenager, my fashion choices didn’t stem from a lack of personal style or a desire to fit in; rather, I wanted to fly under the radar. I believed that blending in would shield me from social scrutiny. While I craved recognition for my passions—like drama and music—I found comfort in not drawing attention to my appearance. If I managed to look like every other girl at school, that felt like a win.
Interestingly, recent research published in the journal Psychological Science suggests that my instinct to fit in wasn’t misplaced. A study from the University of Virginia found that teens who align with their peers may experience better health outcomes as adults, as reported by journalist Alex Rivera at Pacific Standard.
The researchers followed teenagers from ages 13 to 17, engaging them in discussions about their same-sex friendships. Both the teens and their friends provided insights into the quality of their relationships and how well they conformed to peer expectations. Years later, participants in their mid-twenties were asked to assess their physical and emotional well-being.
The findings revealed that those who enjoyed strong friendships during adolescence and demonstrated a tendency to conform to social norms reported superior health later in life. It turns out that teens are naturally inclined to seek acceptance from their peers, which may be vital for their overall well-being. As Rivera noted, “The intense adolescent focus on forming and maintaining peer relationships may well result from an instinctive recognition that these relationships are linked to well-being.”
I’ve often felt a twinge of regret for not striving to stand out more during my school years. I blended in with my group of fellow drama enthusiasts, who had their own social norms to navigate. Rivera also pointed out that the study’s conclusions resonate with historical findings, such as how heavy-metal fans from the 1980s grew into happy, productive adults by embracing their subculture and its shared identity.
In essence, fitting in can have significant advantages. Despite my desire to encourage my sons to embrace their individuality and disregard others’ opinions, the truth is we are inherently social beings. Even as adults, we adhere to societal norms; for instance, no one would wear jeans to a black-tie event, regardless of their desire for originality.
The primary concern for both teens and adults lies in social isolation. Rivera emphasizes that while adolescence is a time for exploring personal interests, parents who push too hard for uniqueness may inadvertently risk their children’s future health.
So, I won’t fret if my son opts for the same school attire as his classmates this year or if he seems inclined to “go along to get along” (with the exception of any significant ethical concerns, of course). It’s crucial for him to foster robust friendships within his peer group, even if that means shopping for clothes at The Limited.
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In summary, it’s perfectly normal for your teenager to prefer following rather than leading. Research indicates that blending in with peers can positively impact their health and well-being in the long run. Emphasizing strong friendships and social interactions during these formative years is just as important as encouraging individuality.
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