Today marks the final day I wake up alone. It’s the last morning of brushing my teeth while balancing on one foot and trying to keep my overly curious ten-month-old from exploring the toilet. It’s the last day of preparing breakfast for my three-year-old while soothing my teething infant. Tonight, after putting the kids to bed, I’ll sit on the edge of my bed, my head in my hands, reflecting on the minor stresses that have led to tears of frustration and fatigue. Tomorrow, my husband returns home.
As a military spouse, you quickly learn to navigate challenges you never anticipated—like dealing with a dropped call during a crucial conversation, which often spirals from annoyance to anxiety. You lean on your parents, friends, coworkers, and neighbors just to keep your sanity intact. This experience has tested our family, stretching us in ways we never imagined, and yes, ultimately making us stronger.
Lesson 1: Seek Help and Set Aside Your Pride
You’ll find that you need more support than you thought, and it’s crucial to let go of your pride. When people offer assistance, don’t brush it off. Instead, be clear about what you need. If you don’t guide them, they might not know how to help.
Lesson 2: Embrace Imperfection
You won’t be able to do everything you desire. I had to make compromises, often trading one bad choice for another. The guilt was overwhelming at times. Yes, my children watched more TV than I would prefer, and yes, they had fast food more often than I care to admit. But sometimes, survival takes precedence.
Lesson 3: Shared Pain, Different Struggles
Both you and your spouse are going through tough times, but your experiences are uniquely different. With teething, temper tantrums, and sleepless nights, resentment can creep in. I often envied my husband’s uninterrupted sleep and the child-free time he was enjoying. However, he too was missing out on precious milestones. He longed for his family and the moments he’d been deployed to protect.
Lesson 4: Vulnerability Is Part of the Journey
Both of you will feel raw and sensitive. It only takes one harsh word to ignite a conflict. You’ll argue, you’ll lose your temper, and you’ll encounter struggles—that’s just part of the process.
Lesson 5: Expect the Unexpected
If something can go wrong, it likely will. Challenges often come in waves—be it health issues, broken appliances, or job changes.
Lesson 6: Discover Your Strength
The best advice I received before my husband’s deployment wasn’t about time passing quickly or promises of support, but rather that I would discover my own capability and take pride in it. I was resilient, strong when necessary, and vulnerable when alone. But I made it through.
While I hope we won’t have to endure this experience again, I understand that it could happen. This message is for anyone living apart from their partner, to remind you that you’re not alone in your struggles. And for those who haven’t faced this, remember that a kind word, helping hand, or supportive gesture can mean the world.
So here’s to all the families navigating each day, minute by minute. I wouldn’t wish this experience on anyone, but I’ve learned something invaluable: My family has emerged stronger together. For more insights on this journey, check out this blog post for additional support. If you’re interested in home insemination, visit Make a Mom for quality insemination kits. Also, explore Facts About Fertility for a wealth of information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Navigating the challenges of being a military spouse during a deployment can be daunting, but it also teaches valuable lessons about vulnerability, resilience, and the importance of seeking help. By embracing imperfection and recognizing the unique struggles you and your partner face, you can emerge from this experience stronger than ever.
Leave a Reply