I realized I had a problem when I started using meditation as a way to multitask. Encouraged by friends who rave about apps like Calm and Headspace, I jumped on the meditation bandwagon during the chaos of 2020, hoping to rediscover the “center” I had lost amidst piles of laundry, endless dishes, and frequent Zoom calls with my kids. Meanwhile, our persistent cat reminded me that his food bowl was empty again.
As a soothing British voice guided me through breathing exercises, I found my mind wandering, planning dinner, considering which Netflix series to binge next, and keeping an ear out for any potential sibling disputes in the next room. When the session ended, I checked “Meditate” off my mental to-do list, feeling no more centered than when I began.
It’s a well-worn cliché that mothers are perpetually tired, but I truly was always drained. Often, I was tired but happy; sometimes, I was tired and stressed; occasionally, I was tired and irritable. However, tiredness was the common thread. While new parents can attribute fatigue to sleep deprivation, my kids are good sleepers, out of diapers, and capable of handling several daily tasks independently. My exhaustion at the end of the day didn’t make sense.
Then it struck me: perhaps I was always tired because I was constantly multitasking. My body was engaged in one activity while my mind juggled another. Even when I was focused on checking emails, I was bombarded with messages from work, my kids’ school, friends, and relentless political organizations. It’s no wonder I felt burnt out by 6 PM.
Recently, I made a conscious decision to embrace “single-tasking.” This concept involves selecting one task and dedicating your full attention to it until completion—something I vaguely remembered from my pre-kid days. For instance, when tackling work emails, I now only open and respond to work-related messages, silencing all other distractions. More crucially, when spending time with my kids, I strive to be fully present instead of worrying about what needs to happen next.
Of course, as a parent, it’s not always feasible to single-task, and many attempts get interrupted. However, each time I succeed, I notice that I complete tasks more quickly and effectively by focusing entirely on them. When that task is quality time with my kids or partner, we all feel more joyful and relaxed after prioritizing our time together. Physically, I also feel less fatigued. The tiredness hasn’t vanished completely, but for my mind, single-tasking serves as a rejuvenating power nap.
Moms often wear their multitasking abilities as a badge of honor—and rightly so, as the female brain is incredibly capable. Yet, there’s a fine line between effective multitasking and pushing oneself to the brink of burnout. I came alarmingly close to that edge this past year, but I’m making progress, one step—and one task—at a time. If you’re interested in exploring more about this topic, check out this other blog post for additional insights.
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In summary, I discovered that my constant exhaustion stemmed largely from the habit of multitasking. By adopting single-tasking, I’ve found that I can complete tasks more effectively and enjoy quality time with my family, leading to less fatigue.