As I watch my 16-year-old son, Ethan, I can’t help but notice how much more thoughtful and cautious he is compared to my own teenage self. Often, I find myself fixating on what he needs to do next rather than appreciating the remarkable qualities he already possesses. This summer, however, I’ve made a conscious effort to relish the young man he’s blossoming into. With no grand plans for his break—thanks to being the third child—I left him to his own devices, and he’s come up with some interesting ways to keep busy.
Ethan has taken on tasks like caring for a neighbor’s lawn and garden, walking another neighbor’s ailing spouse, and visiting his grandmother daily. He plays fetch with her dog and lends an ear to her stories. On top of that, he serves as a tech consultant for his other grandmother and acts as a fishing guide for his younger cousins and friends. When he’s not working, he’s honing his basketball skills, determined to improve at a sport he loves. He’s a kind, funny, and driven young man.
As he heads off to his next job, he often asks me which weeds to pull. I give him my advice while reminding him of the potential hazards of yard work. “Don’t forget the sunscreen, wear a hat, and steer clear of poison ivy,” I caution. But as he trudges away with his earbuds in and phone in hand, it’s clear he’s hardly listening. Ah, to be 16 again.
I still vividly remember the terrible bout of poison ivy I endured as a teenager—the itchiness and blisters serving as a vivid reminder of youthful mischief. Yet, at nearly 50, those memories don’t sting as much. Friends in their 60s and 70s, along with my parents nearing 80, often tell me I’m still young. Still, some days I feel like I’m slowly descending that metaphorical mountain.
Just recently, Ethan plopped down at the foot of my bed after returning from a party. “A girl told me I was pretty tonight,” he shared, looking bemused. Moments like these, where he opens up to me, are treasures I savor. He is indeed pretty—maybe even someone’s idea of “heaven.” At 16, his journey is just beginning.
Perhaps I should be content with having walked this path before him. I know a bit about the journey and can offer occasional words of wisdom about the pitfalls that may lie ahead. I often wonder which songs will resonate with my kids as they navigate their own teenage experiences; the soundtrack of their lives will undoubtedly be unique to them. They are still in the throes of booming beats and heart-wrenching ballads, anthems that will someday evoke nostalgia, much like my cherished tunes play on the oldies station now.
At this stage in my life, I still enjoy a catchy melody. Every so often, I hear a John Mellencamp classic and find myself reminiscing. But that chapter has closed for me, and that’s perfectly okay. Recently, while listening to my iPod, I stumbled upon a Simon & Garfunkel song that struck a chord with me: “Now the years are rolling by me, they’re rockin’ evenly.” It’s a simple reminder of the passage of time and the beauty of life’s journey.
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In summary, watching Ethan grow into his own person is a journey filled with lessons, laughter, and a touch of nostalgia. I may not have all the answers, but I cherish each moment we share as he embarks on this exciting path.
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