Remote or In-Person Learning?
The NYC school policy suddenly changed, and once you made your choice, you had to stick with it for the rest of the academic year—no take-backs. It was a tough call, especially when deciding between staying at my in-laws’ quiet home or returning to the bustling city.
My partner, Jake, and I were at odds over this decision. His anxiety about exposing our family to COVID-19 was heightened, especially with a second wave approaching.
On the other hand, I was worried about our son, Max, experiencing social isolation and the emotional toll it could take. Plus, I was feeling incredibly homesick.
I had consumed numerous articles reassuring me that schools weren’t significant spreaders of COVID, which calmed my nerves. It was comforting to see many friends in the city happily attending in-person classes safely.
To be fair, Max was thriving with his incredible remote learning teachers, or as they liked to call themselves, the “village.” They were engaged and brought unmatched energy and humor to their lessons.
At first, Max was too shy to even turn on his camera. But soon, he couldn’t be stopped from unmuting himself. I felt guilty even considering uprooting him from this newfound routine that provided a sense of normalcy.
The Challenges of Remote Learning
In recent months, Max’s public school had to shut down multiple times due to rising COVID cases. Some parents found the unpredictable schedule disruptive, while others were simply relieved to have any in-person learning days. Nearby schools remained open due to lower COVID numbers.
“It’s not like Max will be missing out on a grand school production of The Pirates of Penzance!” Jake argued.
I imagined the assembly hall so empty you could hear the school bell echo. The thought of Max missing his first-grade play made me sad.
“But at least he could play outside with friends, even if it’s with masks! He doesn’t know any kids here,” I countered.
“But it’s getting colder. How long can he do that?” Jake replied.
“It’s not like he’s going to be eating lunch with friends in the cafeteria,” he added.
“But at least he’ll be close enough to joke around with them,” I said.
“And what about the fact that neither of us has the patience to handle remote learning?” Jake pointed out.
It was challenging not to agree on our child’s education. Many families faced the same dilemma, grappling with the question of “remote or in-person learning?” Numerous lists circulated, detailing pros and cons for both.
Parents often judged one another, complicating the decision-making process even further. Yes, remote learning was straining families. Yes, schools fluctuated between opening and closing as COVID cases rose. Yes, many families relied on schools to stay open. Yes, many teachers felt it was unsafe to risk their health to educate our children, especially when they had their own families. Yes, there was increasing data showing that schools weren’t major contributors to COVID spread. Yes, studies indicated the negative effects of social isolation. Yes, many families remained fearful of the uncertainties ahead.
We went back and forth, sharing our conflicting feelings with our therapist each week. We made an effort not to dismiss each other’s anxieties and feelings. Most of the time, we stumbled in that endeavor. But we kept trying, shedding our stubbornness and sometimes crying together.
Making the Decision
No family has perfect choices, and not everyone agrees on the best path for their child.
Ultimately, we opted for continued remote learning and decided to stay at my in-laws’. We also agreed to arrange socially-distanced playdates, allowing Max the interaction he so desperately needed. I turned to local parenting groups to set up those playdates, for which I am immensely grateful.
When I see the choices other parents make, I remind myself that everyone is doing the best they can.
Additional Resources
For more insights on family planning and home insemination, check out this blog post or visit Make A Mom for authoritative information on home insemination kits. Additionally, Resolve.org offers excellent resources for family-building options.