My Daughter Is Heading to High School. What Now?

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Next year, my daughter will embark on her high school journey, entering ninth grade at a large school with a staggering student body of 2,700. As I sit in this cramped freshman classroom, devoid of air conditioning, I’m struck by the reality that this is truly happening. It’s a moment for my partner and me to contemplate our 1) age (can we really be old enough to have a high schooler?) and 2) achievements in life (have we met our goals by this stage?). Yet, beneath this reflection lies a deeper feeling of anxiety that seems to overshadow the typical concerns—it’s as if we’re also stepping into high school alongside her.

It’s somewhat ironic that all the preparations made by our community to ease this transition for our kids have inadvertently placed a heavy burden on us. Sitting together in these small chairs, we listen intently to teachers, counselors, and even current students outline what our daughter will be experiencing during these pivotal four years. We can’t help but groan at the reality of early morning routines and the hectic pace of her day, where she’ll be constantly hustling from class to class.

Perhaps the most daunting realization, which we were already aware of, is that this is the real deal—grades will count. There’s tangible pressure tied to every assignment she submits, every test she takes, and every decision she makes. (Isn’t that a lyric from a song by The Police?) Our daughter won’t be the only one under scrutiny; colleges, extracurricular organizations, summer programs, and of course, her peers will be keeping a close eye on her progress.

As I sit in this room, raising my hand to ask questions, I find myself lost in thought, reminiscing about my own high school days across the country in California, a world away from Connecticut. I vividly recall the tumultuous emotions of my 14-year-old self: excitement and fear mixed with the realization that this was a time of immense potential. I understood that this chapter would shape my future—not just in terms of college aspirations, friendships, or activities, but also in the transformation of who I was becoming.

High school is indeed a formative time; it’s when you begin to mold the adult version of yourself. I’m not referring to the cliched stereotypes from the classic 1985 film The Breakfast Club, but rather to the unique categories we all fall into that help define our adult identities. It’s a pivotal moment where you’re on the brink of becoming who you’re meant to be. I wish I had been able to articulate this sentiment to my friends back then—it might have encouraged us to cherish those experiences a bit more.

Now, as I snap back to reality, I glance around at the other parents, all likely grappling with their own swirling thoughts and emotions.

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In summary, as my daughter prepares to enter high school, I find myself reflecting on the emotions that accompany this significant transition. The pressure, the potential for growth, and the shared experience with other parents all contribute to a whirlwind of feelings that remind me of my own formative years.


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