My Toddler Has Never Slept Through the Night

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One of the most commonly searched questions by parents is “when will my child finally sleep through the night?” — more accurately, “how can I make my child sleep through the night?” The reason behind this query is clear: sleepless nights can be incredibly draining, and the struggle against sleep deprivation is real. However, the answer is not so simple. In fact, it can be quite perplexing. While every child will eventually sleep through the night, there isn’t a specific age when this happens. My 21-month-old still wakes up every night. Yes, you read that right.

Fortunately, most kids aren’t like my son. According to Healthline, many children manage to sleep through the night by around six months. But it’s essential to understand that this is just an average; sleep patterns can vary significantly among children.

“Most children begin sleeping through the night once they learn to self-soothe,” explains pediatric sleep consultant, Jamie Lane. “This might happen at two months or as late as twelve years. There is no definitive age.” Furthermore, the concept of “sleeping through the night” can mean different things to different people. As lactation consultant, Sara Cole points out, “For infants and toddlers, it typically refers to a four to five hour stretch of sleep, followed by frequent awakenings every two to three hours.” So, it doesn’t necessarily mean your child will sleep uninterrupted from 7 PM to 7 AM.

Of course, this realization doesn’t alleviate my exhaustion. I’ve spent countless hours trying to get my son to sleep. I’ve consulted his doctor to ensure there are no underlying issues, and thankfully, he is perfectly healthy. Most children who struggle with sleep are, in fact, perfectly normal.

“While many kids may go through phases of longer and shorter sleep — often linked to growth spurts, developmental milestones, teething, and so on — some children just have a routine of waking up regularly,” Cole notes. This behavior is considered “normal.”

Several factors influence sleep patterns in newborns, infants, and toddlers. For instance, breastfed babies tend to wake more frequently than those fed formula. Separation anxiety can also play a role, especially around the nine-month to one-year mark, and some children deal with night terrors, which I suspect is true for my son, who often wakes up in distress.

In certain cases, medical issues might contribute to sleep disruptions. Conditions like sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, or GERD can result in frequent awakenings. If you’re concerned about your child’s sleep habits, it’s advisable to consult a sleep specialist or your pediatrician.

The good news is that you can encourage better sleep habits. “Infants and toddlers thrive on a consistent and predictable sleep routine that aligns with recommended ‘awake windows,’” says sleep specialist, Angela Wright. “A child who is overtired or undertired will struggle to fall asleep.”

Establish and maintain a sleep schedule. Create a nightly routine that includes a bath, dressing, feeding, brushing teeth, and reading a story before bed. Consistency is key. If your child wakes up, help them return to sleep in whatever way you decide. The important thing is to be persistent and provide a conducive sleep environment. Children tend to sleep best in dark rooms with minimal noise or white noise.

Sadly, even with the best intentions, some children, like mine, may still resist sleep. While this can be incredibly frustrating, it’s crucial to remember that it’s normal. There’s nothing wrong with you or your child. This phase won’t last forever. All children — every single one — eventually settle down and begin to sleep through the night. So, don’t be too hard on yourself if your little one still wakes up. There’s no reason to feel guilty, as you’re not doing anything wrong. Some kids are just late bloomers when it comes to sleep. Most importantly, don’t stress; barring any medical concerns, everything will turn out just fine.

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Summary:

Many parents wonder when their child will start sleeping through the night. While most children achieve this by around six months, there’s no set timeline. Factors like growth spurts, separation anxiety, and even feeding methods can influence sleep patterns. Consistency and a proper sleep routine can help, but it’s important to remember that every child is different and some may take longer to settle into a restful sleep pattern.

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