There are plenty of things experienced mothers caution us about in the journey of parenthood. Our bodies will undergo significant transformations—our hips, breasts, faces, and even our rear ends. Expect to lose sleep for what feels like an eternity, and prepare for a financial strain due to the high costs of diapers, followed by expenses for sports, school supplies, and rising grocery bills. Plus, getting out of the house becomes increasingly challenging until the toddler phase passes.
But did anyone prepare you for the feeling of being “touched out”? I certainly wasn’t aware of how challenging this aspect of motherhood would be. After having three children in quick succession, it felt like there was always a little one either growing inside me, nursing from me, or climbing all over me—every single minute of every day for six straight years. Even as they grow older, there are days when I still feel overwhelmed after attending to everyone’s needs from the moment I wake up until I tuck them in at night. On some evenings, I simply lack the energy to engage in bedtime cuddles.
Our confessional is filled with shared experiences from mothers who feel similarly drained. You’ll read about moms with infants, toddlers, breastfeeding challenges, potty-training struggles, and those who have spent months at home during quarantine. And of course, there are the moms whose partners approach them for affection when all they truly crave is a moment to themselves.
One mom noted: “Twins cluster feeding, a clingy toddler, and a husband seeking connection—I’m completely exhausted and just want some space.” Another shared, “My little one is teething and nursing for comfort every half-hour; I crave a glass of wine and a quiet shower.” The exhaustion is palpable across these stories, with one mother even expressing that the constant need for physical touch leaves her feeling as if she’s losing her mind.
As our children transition from babies to toddlers, the demand for our attention doesn’t let up. They still rely on us for everything—getting things, providing comfort, and even basic needs. Even after fulfilling every request, they want to be close to us at all times, whether they’re awake or asleep. One mother lamented, “I cried today because my kids wouldn’t give me a moment of peace. Motherhood is tough.”
Finding time for intimacy becomes a distant thought after welcoming a baby. After putting my son to bed, I often feel completely “touched out,” needing a shower or a moment to catch up on work. I don’t remember the last time I felt relaxed enough to even consider physical intimacy. Another mom shared, “When my husband tries to reach for me, it makes my skin crawl; I just need to escape for a while.”
We all wish our partners could experience what it’s like to feel completely drained, as one mother expressed her desire to switch places with her husband for a day to help him understand her exhaustion. And it’s not uncommon for us to welcome our monthly cycle because it offers a reprieve from contact—“Sorry, but I just need my space!”
It turns out that feeling touched out is a common experience for many mothers, particularly those who spend long hours at home with their little ones. What we often need is a day where our partners take the kids out, allowing us to hide away, read, or binge-watch our favorite shows. Once we reclaim our personal space, we might just be in the mood for some intimacy again.
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Search Queries:
- How to cope with being touched out as a mom
- Signs you’re feeling overwhelmed in motherhood
- Tips for finding personal space as a parent
- Strategies for managing intimacy after having a baby
- Understanding the emotional toll of motherhood on women
Summary:
Many mothers experience a sense of being “touched out,” feeling overwhelmed by constant physical demands from their children and partners. This overwhelming sensation can lead to emotional exhaustion, making it hard to find personal space or feel relaxed enough for intimacy. Finding ways to reclaim personal time, whether through partner support or solo activities, is essential for maintaining well-being as a parent.