Updated: July 17, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 16, 2015
Not that they aren’t stunning! They absolutely are. They embody perfection in their own right. But the level of self-consciousness and relentless striving for perfection at the beach can be exhausting. I’d much rather be out there splashing in the waves, even if my tankini is sagging and my hair resembles a seagull’s nest.
- The Teenager: Whether they’re fabulously thin, pleasantly plump, or somewhere in between, these young souls are often too busy adjusting their swimsuits and fretting about their appearance. They’re missing out on the joy of their strong, healthy bodies—bodies meant for movement, laughter, and living fully. I wish I could tell them: Embrace your wild and precious life! Treat your body like a guest you’re grateful to host (and I’ll strive to do the same).
- The Grad Student Duo: Picture this: a couple deeply engrossed in matching copies of Antonio Gramsci’s Prison Notebooks. I mean, even The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants might seem overly ambitious for a day at the beach. Meanwhile, I’d rather doze off with a half-read magazine imprinting on my sunscreen-slathered cheek.
- The Parent with a Baby: There’s always that parent stuck in a sandy nursing tent, desperately waiting for someone to fetch them an iced coffee while juggling a soggy diaper. Oh, dear! I’ve been in those shoes. Why not take the baby back to your air-conditioned oasis, relax on a clean bed, and flip on HGTV? The beach will still be there when your little one is old enough to enjoy it.
- The Kale Salad Enforcer: This is the person trying to feed her son kale salad while he holds up his sandy hands like he’s been arrested. And while I’m all for healthy eating (I bake my own bread and serve sprouted spelt groats at home), the beach is a place for indulgence! Seriously, God didn’t create Lay’s New York Reuben potato chips just for you to serve fermented beets from a glass container. (Though if you win the Lay’s contest, “New York Reuben” could be worth a fortune—maybe I need to rethink my writing career.)
- The Towel Wrapper: Then there’s the individual who wraps a towel around her 30-year-old waist to hide her gorgeous legs. Trust me, I’ve been there. But just wait! It’s liberating to toss aside the shame and modesty as you age. At 40 or even 46, you’ll find that nobody really cares about your dimpled thighs. Sure, your kids might make exaggerated gestures about your bikini line, but they’re not your target audience. The person who truly appreciates you is right there with an affectionate hand on your back.
Thinking back, I used to feel sorry for people like me—hairy, rumpled, and laughing while snacking on Fritos. Little did I know that embracing my middle age would unlock a whole new level of beach happiness!
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Summary
This article humorously explores the joy of embracing oneself at the beach versus the self-consciousness exhibited by others. It highlights the importance of enjoying the moment and the freedom that comes with self-acceptance as we age.
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