Dear Partner,
You are my soulmate, my greatest love, and my closest friend. We’ve shared countless moments of joy and faced challenges together, offering each other unyielding support through thick and thin. My love for you has only deepened since our wedding day. You are an incredible, passionate, and imaginative partner in our intimate life. Our connection is vibrant, fulfilling, and truly satisfying.
You might wonder why I still engage in solo activities, even when our sex life is thriving. If everything is so great between us, why do I seek out personal moments? I understand that it may feel like I have a secret life that excludes you—like masturbation is a hidden affair I keep from you.
As a married man and a father in my forties, my need to engage in solo activities isn’t about necessity; it’s more about desire. Let me explain.
Since my teenage years, there have been times when my emotions feel overwhelming, and I need a moment to decompress. It’s not solely about sexual feelings; it could be anxiety, stress, or sadness. Sometimes, I just need to retreat into my own space, and for me, masturbation has been the perfect way to clear my mind.
Even years later, I still find enjoyment in it. Just as some people unwind with a glass of wine or treat themselves to a spa day, I find relaxation in these moments. It’s a natural, cost-free way to unwind.
While I appreciate the intimacy we share, there are occasions when our desires don’t align perfectly. You might not always be in the mood, and I don’t expect you to be available on demand. So, I occasionally step away to take care of my needs, allowing us both to continue with our day without pressure.
Moreover, even if we were in sync all the time, I believe there’s a unique aspect of solo time that partnered sex can’t fully replace. Our intimate moments involve connection, vulnerability, and attentiveness to each other’s needs. However, there are times when I simply want to retreat into my own headspace. It’s about seeking a moment of peace, and for me, that often means indulging in solo activities.
Much like how you enjoy some solitude during your walks, I revel in my private moments. You wouldn’t want me with you every single time you go out for a stroll; sometimes, you enjoy your own company.
As for the secrecy around my solo activities—it doesn’t have to be that way. If you’re curious, you’re welcome to join me in those moments, even if it’s just for companionship. I value your comfort and know that you may not always want to participate, so I respect your space while tending to my own needs.
You might worry about what I think about during these moments. Truthfully, I let my imagination wander. Just as in meditation where you allow your thoughts to flow without judgment, I do the same during these private times. Sometimes I think of you, but other images and memories might surface as well. It’s not about longing for someone else; those thoughts are fleeting and not rooted in any desire for another reality.
So yes, I indulge in these moments. I’ve been doing it for years, and I don’t plan to stop. But please know that it’s not a reflection of dissatisfaction with our life together. Sometimes I do it to ease anxiety, and sometimes simply because it feels good. Regardless, I always return to you feeling calm and appreciative of the beautiful connection we share.
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Summary:
In this heartfelt message to a partner, the author explains the reasons behind their solo activities, emphasizing that they are not a reflection of dissatisfaction in their intimate life. By addressing concerns about secrecy and emotional needs, the author reassures their partner of their love and commitment while highlighting the importance of personal space and self-care.
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