Recently, political figure and New York City mayoral candidate Sam Roberts highlighted the challenges parents face, saying, “Can you imagine managing two kids in virtual school while also working from a cramped apartment?” Yes, Sam, we can imagine it. What’s more telling is that many of us envision that your partner is shouldering the bulk of childcare responsibilities.
Back in 2019, Roberts tweeted, “The contributions of women are undervalued in our society… Many view parenting, teaching, and caregiving as having little to no market value.” While this sentiment appears supportive, it inadvertently perpetuates the stereotype linking “women’s work” solely to childcare. This misconception helps explain the alarming trend of women exiting the workforce during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Recent job statistics reveal that U.S. employers eliminated 140,000 jobs in December, with women accounting for all the losses—156,000 jobs gone, while men gained 16,000. For months, women, particularly Black women and women of color, have been pushed out of the workforce due to the need to care for children at home. When the new school year began in September, a staggering 865,000 women left their jobs, four times the number of men, likely to assist with remote learning or navigate the complexities of hybrid schedules. As we await further analysis of December’s data, it’s reasonable to assume these job losses reflect women’s realization that the school year will likely remain unpredictable.
It’s no secret that a global pandemic poses severe challenges to the economy. However, the detrimental effects on women should not be a foregone conclusion. Society has long accepted that women take on the majority of childcare responsibilities, a notion that the pandemic has only amplified as we collectively acknowledge, “Someone has to do it.” Unsurprisingly, that someone is typically a woman.
Even my progressive mother conveyed this narrative, suggesting biological reasons for women’s supposed superiority in childcare. Many believe that childcare responsibility naturally falls to women because of some inherent “wiring” for caregiving. This mindset cleverly perpetuates existing power dynamics and relegates domestic tasks to women. As author Darcy Lockman states in her work All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership, “Our belief that primary maternal care is natural stems from a long history of female subjugation, which we mistakenly label as ‘nature’ while assuming the childbearers must provide the majority of care.”
The prevailing assumption that mothers are more invested in parenting than fathers limits both genders—men are subtly encouraged to see themselves as less capable caregivers, while women may feel confined to the role of caregiver. Carlos Ball, a law professor, argues that the belief women are better suited for home life inherently suggests they are less capable in professional settings. This should be as troubling as claiming men excel more in fields like law or medicine.
For years, women have faced an impossible dilemma: scale back on their careers to manage household duties or maintain their jobs while still managing home life. Many of us who opted for the latter depended on daycare, schools, nannies, friends, and family to juggle our responsibilities. The pandemic has stripped away many of these vital support systems, forcing an unsustainable situation.
“It was just assumed I’d take a step back in my career,” shared a friend recently. “We both earn about the same, and last year I even made a bit more, but I’m the one doing most of the childcare.” With schools closed and remote learning in full swing, the demands of “kid stuff” have become all-consuming. Economist Diane Whitmore Schanzenbach noted, “Many women have simply given up.” In the middle of a global health crisis, who has the energy to challenge entrenched societal norms?
Research has shown that mothers’ income potential diminishes when they transition in and out of work, reduce hours, accept lower-paying roles, or miss out on promotions due to biases against mothers. With COVID-19, many women are experiencing these setbacks. The outlook for women in the workforce appears grim, with the pandemic potentially reversing decades of progress in gender equality.
Gloria Steinem once stated, “Women will not achieve equality outside the home until men achieve it within.” As the pandemic reinforces the narrative that women are primarily caregivers, and as employers neglect to implement flexible scheduling options to accommodate working parents, it’s become increasingly evident that men are not equally sharing domestic responsibilities, leading many women to abandon their aspirations outside the home. Instead of lamenting the challenges of “trying to work,” figures like Sam Roberts should question why they are the only ones with paid work responsibilities.
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In summary, the narrative that mothers can and should do it all is not only unrealistic but harmful. As the pandemic highlights the unequal distribution of childcare responsibilities, it is crucial to challenge these notions and advocate for systemic changes that support both women and men in and out of the home.