As mothers, holding onto regrets can be one of the most detrimental things we do. We all make mistakes, and we all wish we could go back and change things, especially with our first child. For many of us, that firstborn is the experimental pancake—sometimes burnt, sometimes undercooked, but rarely perfect because we were still figuring out the griddle. I certainly have a long list of things I’d redo when it comes to parenting my eldest, but I remind myself that he’s now 12 and doing great, so I must have done something right.
Carrying around a list of regrets isn’t healthy, especially for a tired, hard-working mom simply trying her best. However, if there’s one thing I wish I could change, it’s my approach to breastfeeding and sleep training. I vividly remember a pediatrician visit when my son was four months old. As a new mom, anxious and uncertain, I hung on to every word from the doctors and nurses. When I admitted that my baby wasn’t sleeping through the night and that I often nursed him back to sleep, I was met with disapproval. I was told I needed to stop this behavior and lay him down awake to learn self-soothing.
Feeling defeated, I took their advice to heart. Breastfeeding had already been a challenge, and now I was supposed to disrupt our rhythm? Despite my initial hesitation, I dove into a stringent sleep training and nighttime weaning process that ultimately failed. My child didn’t sleep through the night until he was over a year old, and I often felt uneasy about the whole situation.
By the time my second and third children arrived, my perspective had transformed. I nursed them whenever I felt like it, and yes, they often fell asleep at the breast. Even as my youngest reached 11 and 12 months, I heard that nagging voice in my head telling me he was too old for nighttime feedings. However, as I weighed my options—allowing him to nurse for a few minutes or listen to him cry—I often chose the former.
With my last baby, I ditched the rigid feeding and nap schedules I once adhered to, and it made a world of difference. He turned out to be the best sleeper and happiest of my three children, likely because I had learned to relax. Instead of strictly timing nap times, we embraced a more flexible approach, which allowed him to thrive.
Looking back, I don’t resent that pediatrician for her advice; she was likely trying to help me as a new mom. However, a more balanced conversation about individual needs and the importance of bonding would have been far more beneficial. Support for mothers who wish to nurse their babies to sleep is essential. Many moms are keen on reclaiming their nights, while others believe in the value of nurturing through breastfeeding.
La Leche League International states that about half of babies may still need parental soothing at least once a night by their first birthday. Breastfeeding is one of the most effective methods to soothe a baby. Research from Breastfeed Chicago indicates that nighttime nursing can be beneficial due to natural hormonal rhythms in lactating women. This makes complete sense, especially for my third child, whose daytime feedings often took place in the car while juggling other responsibilities.
It’s also worth noting that breastmilk contains tryptophan, an amino acid that promotes sleep, and melatonin, which helps babies feel sleepy. Plus, breastfeeding at night can be a great way to maintain or boost milk supply for moms who struggle. The quiet bonding moments during these feedings are simply a bonus.
As I concluded my breastfeeding journey with my youngest, I felt a bittersweet sense of closure. I could have opted to stop those nighttime feedings earlier, but instead, I chose to provide comfort and security during those fleeting baby days.
So, let’s shift the narrative: nursing babies to sleep can be a nurturing practice rather than a problematic habit. Every mother knows her child best, and sometimes, following our instincts is the right way to go.
For further insights and support on this topic, check out this other blog post on the importance of nurturing through breastfeeding here. If you’re also interested in fertility topics, Make a Mom provides excellent resources. Additionally, for a deeper understanding of pregnancy options, this Wikipedia page can be quite helpful.
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Summary
This article explores the notion that nursing babies to sleep is a negative practice. It reflects on the author’s experiences as a new mother, the pressures of adhering to expert advice, and the value of trusting one’s instincts. The narrative emphasizes the importance of nurturing through breastfeeding and the positive impact it can have on both mothers and their children.
