Updated: July 30, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 15, 2015
In our cozy living room, a large wedding photo hangs prominently above the love seat where my husband, Mark, often finds himself from 9 to 10 p.m., sometimes snoring softly. More often than not, one or both of us gaze at the youthful couple captured in that frame. It’s astonishing how much wisdom can be gleaned from 15 years of marriage. Looking back, it’s clear we looked like kids ourselves. I remember planning our wedding just days before my 26th birthday, thinking that was practically ancient for marriage!
Over the years, I’ve gathered some valuable insights about marriage. Life is busier than ever; we’re constantly juggling alone time, moments together, individual time with our kids, and family activities while navigating the chaos of work and commutes. Yet, there’s a unique beauty in this whirlwind. It’s something I didn’t recognize back in that dimly lit bar: he’s my teammate. Together, we hold each other accountable and lift each other up. It’s us against the world—or at least, us against the kids!
Reflecting on that wedding day, I remember feeling victorious, thinking I had snagged my dream guy and that the hard part was behind me. Looking back, that notion was laughable. Getting married is the easy part; the real challenge lies in staying married. Maybe I should tell my parents that I finally understand their wisdom. Yet, with those years come challenges—challenges that only Mark truly comprehends.
There were moments when we hit rock bottom, days when I pictured packing the kids into my minivan and leaving. I genuinely doubted we could push through. But I chose to stay, to see what tomorrow would bring. Conversely, we’ve had days when we felt we had marriage all figured out—communication smooth, no conflicts, just understanding.
Interwoven through our journey were defining experiences: unexpected chronic illnesses, infertility (which is life-altering and a story for another time), and fluctuating financial situations, not to mention the joys of new babies and furry friends. As we approach year 16, I find myself wanting to tell my 25-year-old self that the wedding was merely the beginning of a journey that only Mark and I truly understand.
There’s nothing quite like having that one person who knows you inside out, someone who has your back at all times. Whether it’s making tough parenting choices, deciding when to leave a gathering, or planning the weekend, he’s my ally, always aware of what I need. And he knows I’ve got his back, even if it means ushering our friends out the door by 10 p.m. on New Year’s Eve because he’s simply “done” with socializing. We’ve reached a point where we truly get each other, and we genuinely like each other—what more could you ask for?
Even though the youthful couple in that picture had no idea what lay ahead, they took the right first step. Sometimes I think it’s odd that people marry so young—by “young,” I mean in their 20s. It seems like many marry early, fearing they might never take the plunge if they wait too long. No amount of education, travel, or reading could have equipped me for the rollercoaster of the past 15 years. Perhaps it’s dramatic, but it’s certainly been a wild ride, and I’m curious about what the next 15 years will bring!
For more insights about marriage and parenting, check out this enlightening post on infertility. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make A Mom offers reliable insemination kits to help you on your journey. Additionally, you might find this blog post on our site particularly engaging!
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