When it comes to mealtime, toddlers have their own unique set of guidelines that can leave any parent scratching their head. Here’s a humorous take on the 23 fundamental rules of eating as dictated by the little ones in our lives.
- Breakfast is strictly for Cheerios. Skip the milk on Mondays, Thursdays, and alternating Fridays.
- If the Cheerios are served incorrectly, prepare for a full-blown meltdown.
- New foods? No way! Stick to the familiar, always.
- Just because you loved something yesterday doesn’t mean it’s on today’s menu. Feel free to change your mind without a second thought.
- Anything that was once alive is suspect. Opt for the orange, lifeless options instead.
- While grocery shopping, request a plethora of items but either A) feign ignorance about them once you’re home or B) insist they must be prepared first, then declare you don’t like them.
- Spend time perfecting your knowledge of brand names to justify rejecting cheaper alternatives.
- If it takes more than 30 seconds to prepare, it’s simply unacceptable.
- Inquire about meal readiness every 10 seconds. If it’s delayed, show your displeasure by stomping your feet.
- The food might arrive half-frozen, but you won’t be eating it anyway, so who cares?
- Wednesday afternoons are strictly off-limits for eating— just because!
- Ensure you have a spoon, knife, and two forks at every meal, but insist on eating with your hands.
- You have one designated plate. If it’s dirty, prepare for a tantrum.
- Make it your mission to deposit as much food as possible on the floor. They say they spend their lives cleaning, so help them out!
- Sweet potato chips are an affront to your culinary sensibilities.
- Anything with sauce is off the table due to the risk of hidden blended veggies.
- Water? No thanks! Insist on dehydration to teach them a lesson.
- Always declare you’re starving while taking a bath.
- Train your body to wake up for midnight snacks, particularly bananas.
- Casseroles, stews, and pies are to be treated with suspicion.
- Sweet potato chips? Absolutely not!
- If someone calls broccoli “little trees,” a swift kick to the shins is warranted; it’s just plain condescending.
- Avocado? Absolutely not! What’s the deal with that?
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In summary, navigating toddler eating habits can be a hilarious challenge. Each rule seems more absurd than the last, but they certainly keep meal times interesting!
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