As you embark on your teenage journey, everything is shifting. I did my best to navigate those years, and while many well-meaning adults tried to guide me, their advice often felt off-target. Phrases like “Be a good girl,” “Stay away from boys,” and “Don’t pout” fell flat. It was a different time, and instead of sipping ovaltine, I was guzzling Black Cherry Kool-Aid and Capri Suns.
I understood that this guidance came from a good place, but I often craved the reasoning behind it. Responses of “Because I said so” never satisfied my curiosity. As a lifelong writer, I’ve always searched for deeper meanings, and through my experiences, I’ve learned valuable lessons. If I had followed every piece of advice given to me, my life would have been much less colorful. Here’s what I wish I’d known sooner. Embrace these lessons wholeheartedly.
Love Yourself
In our pursuit to fit in, we sometimes forget about our own needs. Focus on your goals and what brings you joy, and everything else will align. Always speak kindly to yourself—negative thoughts can spread like wildfire. Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. Remember my mom’s advice: “No matter what happens, hold your head high.” You’ll face failures and setbacks, but it’s essential to rise again, even when it’s tough. When things get overwhelming, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
Stop Worrying About Pleasing Others
Trying to meet everyone’s expectations is a losing battle. You can’t win, and in the process, you might lose yourself. Remember, happiness comes from within, and you’re not responsible for others’ feelings. If you find yourself feeling drained, return to point one: love yourself and prioritize your happiness. This doesn’t mean being selfish; it means nurturing your spirit and seeking validation from within.
Stand Up for Your Beliefs
Never shy away from expressing your thoughts on important issues. The world can be loud, but your voice is just as vital as anyone else’s. Don’t let others drown out your spirit. Educate yourself on politics and social justice—they shape your relationships and define who you are. Speak up when it matters, and remember that being quiet doesn’t mean you lack substance.
Trust Your Instincts
Your body often sends signals when something feels off. Pay attention to those gut feelings; they are your internal compass. If you’re unsure about something, take a moment to reflect. Ignoring these signs can lead you down a risky path. Trust your instincts, and if you’re confused, feel free to talk to your mom—chances are, I’ve been there too.
Support Other Women
I’ve found that my toughest moments often came when I was critical of others. It’s easy to feel jealous, but every woman has her struggles. If you could switch places with someone you envy, would you really want to? Celebrate the journeys of others, and remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Lift other women up, and you’ll find that positivity circles back to you.
You Are Enough
Above all, never forget that you are enough. Stop telling yourself you’re too this or not enough that—it’s a path to unhappiness. Shine your light brightly; others’ battles are theirs to fight. Protect your light; people may try to dim it because they lack their own. Set firm boundaries and be your own advocate. Trust your judgment and keep shining brightly!
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