In my household, ADHD is a common thread that runs through each of us, from my partner, Jamie, to our children. We all exhibit varying degrees of the condition. Jamie and I tend to be a bit forgetful and scatterbrained, often misplacing items and losing track of conversations. Deadlines? What are those? We can hyperfocus on activities to the point that we need to be called multiple times to break our concentration. We also find ourselves picking up new hobbies only to abandon them later. I personally take a high dose of time-released Adderall to manage my symptoms; otherwise, even receiving mail can be overwhelming.
However, our approach to managing ADHD in our children differs. One child requires medication for both his well-being and ours, while another does not need it at all. Our youngest has gone through phases where medication has been beneficial, but we prefer to avoid it if possible. Adderall and Ritalin are potent drugs.
ADHD doesn’t necessarily mean medication is the solution. Here’s a closer look at why we choose to medicate one child while forgoing it for the others.
We Don’t Medicate Our Oldest
From a young age, we recognized that our eldest child exhibited signs of ADHD. His attention span was notably brief, and he quickly moved from one toy to another, even as a toddler. He was exceptionally loud, garnering attention from others. His early speech was prolific, and we had to limit his screen time, as he showed signs of becoming overly attached to it.
Now at eleven, he remains quite vocal, often making quirky sounds. Since the pandemic, he’s developed a near obsession with “Star Wars: Battlefront II,” which can be frustrating. He can engage in lengthy discussions on various topics with ease.
However, none of this behavior significantly disrupts his daily life or ours. He can follow directions well and even manage his schoolwork without becoming overly distracted. While math presents challenges, it’s not due to a lack of focus. Therefore, we have opted not to medicate him, though we’re open to reevaluating this decision when he transitions to high school and faces more structured demands.
My Youngest Technically Has a Ritalin Prescription
Our youngest has a prescription for Ritalin, but we have chosen not to fill it. We requested the prescription during a challenging time when his emotional outbursts were likely more related to returning to school amid the pandemic than ADHD itself. Generally, he is a laid-back child, though he is the most prone to tantrums when screen time is limited.
It’s a balancing act. He can excel at complex games designed for adults, yet he resists traditional activities like chess. We wouldn’t medicate him for merely expressing frustration when we take away his tablet, but we would consider it if he becomes overwhelmed by the need for perfection in his writing.
When his fear of failure led to drastic tantrums about schoolwork, we decided to medicate him temporarily, which helped him adjust. Once he found his rhythm, we were able to taper off the medication. While he still struggles with writing tasks, it tends to be more about motivation than capability.
We Must Medicate Our Middle Son
For our middle child, not medicating is not an option. He absolutely requires Focalin to be able to focus. Without it, schoolwork turns into a battle filled with tears and tantrums. He struggles with simple tasks like reading and math, often resorting to dramatic outbursts.
If we skip his dose, bedtime becomes chaotic. He demands snacks, drinks, and creates disturbances that keep everyone awake. It’s incredibly draining for us as parents.
Every Child and Adult with ADHD is Unique
ADHD does not automatically necessitate medication; it may require it at different times in a child’s life. We initially kept our middle son on Focalin only during the school year, but as his symptoms worsened, we decided on year-round medication. Family history can play a role in medication effectiveness; since I take Adderall and my partner takes Ritalin, we were fortunate to find suitable options for our children.
Choosing to medicate for ADHD does not equate to failure or an easy way out for parents. It simply reflects the unique needs of each child. Acknowledging this can help dismantle the stigma surrounding ADHD and its treatment.
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In summary, every child’s experience with ADHD is different, leading to individualized treatment strategies that may include medication or not, depending on their needs and circumstances.