As my 8-year-old daughter, Grace, tossed the football with her father, a passing dad made a comment about her skills. Whether his admiration stemmed from her being a girl was uncertain, but it certainly felt implied. I then overheard my husband say, “Yeah, she has two brothers.” Instantly, I felt a jolt. The suggestion that Grace’s ability was remarkable because she is a girl, paired with the idea that her brothers had anything to do with it, struck a nerve I hadn’t realized was so raw before becoming a mother.
Growing up, I faced different expectations than my brother. As a teenager, I heard warnings from my parents directed at me and my sisters but not at him. As a young adult, I was aware that I would likely earn less than my male peers and often endured unwanted attention while walking to work. My parents’ concerns, while well-intentioned, felt more like a reminder of the societal disparities. I accepted the reality of gender inequality, but it never spurred me into action or influenced my path in life. I was no Gloria Steinem.
Then I had a daughter.
I know I will likely caution Grace more than my son, Jake. I will warn her about dangers that I won’t feel as compelled to mention to him. Admittedly, I will teach her that she can thrive in any field—whether it’s the arts, sciences, politics, or sports. She will learn to assert herself and demand equality. When someone offers praise laced with sexism, I’ll encourage her to respond with grace, whether it’s a simple “thank you” or “I’ve been practicing.” I want her to understand that she doesn’t owe anyone an explanation.
I’m not naive. Having brothers who play sports may help hone her skills, just as it could for any sibling. However, not every boy is into sports, nor does every girl prefer dolls. Each child has their own interests and talents, and no one should claim another’s achievements. I’m pretty sure that fathers of boys don’t feel the need to justify their son’s athletic abilities.
Grace can throw and catch a football not because of her brothers, but because she has practiced and developed her skills. Her talent stands on its own merit. She doesn’t need to be defined or qualified by her siblings, and I’m unwavering in that belief.
While I shy away from heavy labels, if teaching my bright, creative, athletic, and undeniably adorable daughter these important lessons equates to feminism, then I embrace it wholeheartedly. For more insights into topics like these, check out this post on Cervical Insemination for further reading.
And if you’re exploring your own journey in parenthood, Make a Mom offers reputable at-home insemination syringe kits to support your efforts. For more information on the basics of insemination, visit Wikipedia for an excellent resource.
In summary, my experiences as a mother have reshaped my understanding of gender equality and inspired me to raise my daughter to be confident, capable, and unapologetically herself.
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