Parenting can often feel like walking a tightrope between instinct and restraint. When my child stumbles, argues with a friend, or faces a challenge, my gut reaction is to swoop in and resolve the issue right away: pick him up, smooth out his clothes, mediate disputes, or rebuild what’s been knocked down. However, I’ve come to realize that it’s not my responsibility to make life too easy for my children—and doing so may actually hinder their growth. Here are seven challenges I refuse to solve for my sons:
1. Boredom
Boredom seems to have vanished from childhood. With endless activities, homework, and entertainment options, kids rarely have the chance to feel bored. Yet, boredom can spark creativity and exploration. So, when my son complains, “Mom, I’m bored,” my response is simple: “It’s okay to be bored.”
2. Frustration
I’m quick to feel frustrated, much like my husband. However, we handle it differently. I tend to dive deeper into the source of my irritation, while he steps back to cool down. This approach has been enlightening for me. When my son gets upset because his Lego creation collapses, I suggest he take a break and return to it later. Usually, after a short pause, he can tackle the issue with a clearer mind.
3. Meal Preferences
We follow a balanced approach to mealtime, inspired by Ellyn Satter’s guidelines. Sometimes, I serve meals I enjoy, and sometimes I cater to the kids’ tastes. If they don’t like what’s served, that’s perfectly fine—there’s usually something on the table that they will eat. It’s essential for them to learn that everyone, even me, has their favorite dishes sometimes.
4. Facing Failure
As Jessica Lahey points out, a fear of failure can prevent kids from taking intellectual risks. Encountering setbacks teaches valuable problem-solving skills. If my kids are about to make a mistake—whether it’s an incorrect answer or a project that won’t hold up—I let them experience it. They need to navigate failure to learn from it.
5. Money Management
I resonate with Ron Lieber’s advice on teaching kids about finances. He recommends giving children increasing responsibility for their expenses. If my child splurges on a pricey pair of shoes and spends his entire clothing budget, that’s a lesson learned. It’s better for them to make mistakes now when the stakes are lower.
6. Friendship Disputes
I often feel the urge to intervene in my kids’ arguments with friends. However, I believe that conflict is necessary for growth. Children need to learn how to navigate relationships and set boundaries on their own. By stepping back, I allow them to develop essential social skills.
7. Homework Struggles
The ongoing debate about homework often highlights the excessive burden it places on kids, infringing upon family time and rest. I won’t solve their homework dilemmas by doing it for them. While I’m happy to help with explanations, I won’t sit beside them for hours. I set a timer, and whatever doesn’t get done, simply doesn’t get done. Kids need time to unwind after a long day at school.
Of course, my instinct is to shield my children from every difficulty and kiss away every scrape. Yet, they need to develop independence and face challenges head-on. If I don’t allow them to confront these obstacles, I’d only be setting them up for an even bigger dilemma later on—one they’ll have to tackle alone.
For additional insights on parenting and family dynamics, be sure to check out this related blog post on our site. If you’re considering home insemination, look into reputable products like the at-home insemination syringe kits available at Make a Mom. Also, for more information on family planning and options, visit this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination.
Summary:
In parenting, it’s crucial to let kids experience challenges like boredom, frustration, and failure. By not solving every problem for them, we encourage independence and resilience, preparing them for life’s hurdles.
Leave a Reply